When I walk back home, I meet a few people on the street who greet me. I can´t do anything else but answer back, not knowing really who they are, they might be our neighbours but they could also be total strangers. This thing of not recognizing anyone around me is going to cause some problems for a while. The new memory has not established just yet, so I will have to manage by wild guessing and pure luck for now.
Just as I start to think about it, I have a feeling that something is happening in my head. I even have to stop, that’s how hard it hits me.
The flash back ends there abruptly. I wake up from a state of trance and I suddenly understand what it was all about. My memory must be coming back but instead of giving me some useful information, all I remember is crap. I´m glad when Scotty and I get finally home without any other inconveniences.
I have a look into the bedroom to see what my sleepyhead of a brother is doing, but he´s not in bed anymore. I look for him in the whole flat but it’s empty. First I get little bit scared, but then I get it. He has his own flat on the first floor and he probably went there to take a shower and put on some clean clothes. I don´t know what his plans are for today, we didn’t talk about that yesterday.
I prepare breakfast and then I go through my telephone book in my cell phone. It was switched off the entire time and hidden in a black bag together with my wallet and documents. I have one of the newest types and I have to figure out first how it operates. The telephone book is never ending and to my horror I come to realize that I have absolutely no clue who the half of these people are. Well, this is going to be fun.
I can hear a door slam.
„Hello Bill, I was upstairs taking a shower and changing my clothes so I am presentable enough to your liking,“ Tom calls from the vestibule but after a second he is already standing in the kitchen. „What are you doing?“ He asks as he notices that I´m fiddling with my cell.
„I´m trying to remember who all these people are.“ I point to my cell phone. „I don´t know half of them. I can imagine how I would stutter if they called me. I still feel like I have fallen down here from Mars.“ I sigh heavily and take a sad look at my bro. „Yeah, and you look really good,“ I compliment his clothes to make him happy since he was trying so hard. I like him the most without all the clothes, but he surely knows that already.
„Thanks, I´m glad you like it. You brought us breakfast? Oh, that´s luxurious, I´m already looking forward to it. Would you like some coffee or tea?“ he asks me and pours water into a kettle and takes out cups.
„Today I’d better drink tea, if you were so kind.“ I answer and continue going through my cell phone to find as much information as possible. My message inbox is empty, I can´t find anything there. Do I delete them after reading them? I don´t normally do that; I normally delete them first when my inbox is full, because I always forget to do that otherwise. I am probably a person of different habits in this life.
„Bill, do you know, that you are someone totally different?“ says Tom, as if he was reading my mind right now.
„Different… how?“ I ask immediately, because I´m interested what he has to say.
„Ehm, how should I put it?“ Tom is obviously trying to find the right words. „You are much nicer and so attentive and helpful. It was just yesterday morning you told me off for being too nosy; you said I should stay out of your business,“ admits Tom sadly.
„I was under the impression that everything was alright between us?“ I answer, stunned, because the way Tom is behaving didn’t give me any reason to think otherwise.
„Yes, everything is all right between us… right now, but before your new version came to my life things were pretty strange and shaky between us. I had a feeling that you had stopped loving me…“ admits Tom and drops his gaze.
„And what reason could I possibly have for it?“ I ask him, because don’t get it.
„I don´t know, I was the last one you would tell such a thing,“ Tom says and he seems to be bothered, then he puts a cup of tea on a table in front of me.
„Thanks,“ I smile at him and pull him onto my lap. He´s so surprised that he almost knocks over my tea with his elbow. „If I stopped loving you, I was the biggest idiot in the whole world and I promise that everything is going to be different from now on,“ I say to the most beautiful person on earth and kiss him on his cheek. „Your tea will get cold,“ I say softly helping him to get up from my lap.
Tom sits at the table in front with me, spreading butter on a roll, then biting into it hungrily, hypnotizing me with his eyes the entire time.
„I´m afraid that you might remember the reason why…“ he says quietly and I know what´s in his mind.
I’m not surprised. Only God knows who I was. It´s so strange, this emptiness in my head. I love Tom, but what is going to happen when my memories are back? What am I going to find out about myself? And what am I going to find out about him? One thing I know for sure though is that I´m not going to allow for such circumstances that would result in losing Tom again.
I finish my breakfast and go after him. I have to make sure he knows and doesn’t worry for nothing.
From the door of the living room I can see that he sits on the sofa, his head resting against the back rest and his eyes are closed. I can feel that he´s sad, I always know how he feels as we are tied together by an invisible bond of identical twins.
I kneel slowly in front of him and take his hands into mine. He opens his eyes and gives me a sad smile, but I can see fear in there. I want to see love in his eyes, not fear. I have to tell him, to let him know that from now on he´s not going to be alone with this.
„Tomi, my love,“ I speak to him as softly as I am capable of. „I have waited for this moment for ten long years. I had to experience your death and believe me when I tell you there´ s nothing worse than seeing a beloved person die. No one and nothing can take you from me, no matter what my memories are going to bring me. The new Bill won´t allow that, he will be always here. If I have to, I will kill the old one within myself, or I will help him learn to love you again. Deep in my soul I know that he had never stopped loving you. When I am going to find out what happened, we will talk about it together and you will see that we will get through it. We have always been very strong together.“ I stop speaking and lay my head into his lap.
He strokes my hair and I wrap my arms tightly around his hips. We are tied together and nothing can separate us. I would go through hell for him, and if I had to, I would die for him too.
He is kissing my ear gently and runs his hands over my back slowly. It´s the most beautiful feeling a person can have. He loves me, I know it, I feel it so strongly that I am urged to kiss him back. I long to show him my love to reassure him of my true intentions, to erase fear from his eyes. I raise my head and find his lips. I kiss that velvety gorgeousness and my eyes twinkle at him.
Tom is very responsive to my touches and I can´t take it any longer and start kissing him feverishly. I try to ease my tongue gently into his mouth and he lets me in, groaning in pleasure. It´s a beautiful, passionate and long game of two people in love. I know that now is the right moment to show him how I feel about him.
I pull my hands away from his hips and I snake them under the hem of his t-shirt searching for his warm exposed skin. My fingernails start to trace the muscles of his toned belly and I feel how it shakes and shivers with excitement.
He´s still kissing me, then he moans as he feels my hands slowly moving down his torso till they rest on the buckle of his belt. I try to be smooth, tugging at it carefully, opening it slowly not to disturb this beautiful moment. When I finally manage, I open a button of his trousers easily and pull down the zipper. I can sense his crazed arousal, I can see his longing for me and that scares me a little again. I want it to be perfect, the same way as I try to be about everything else in my life, but in this instance I´m not sure I am going to be able to pull it off as I would have liked to.
With my hand I indicate I would like him to lift his butt from the sofa a little and I pull his trousers down his legs all the way to the floor. I stop kissing him for a while to be able to take off his big t-shirt and as soon as I do that, Tom falls back down on the sofa. With a turn of his head to one side, he offers me his beautiful, long neck and I don´t hesitate for a moment and pepper it with little kisses. I swipe my tongue over his skin, leaving wet, hot traces behind and I hear quiet moaning. As my mouth is glued to sweet skin of his neck, my right hand travels up his thigh till it palms his boxers-clad hardness. My mouth leaves his neck and while my lips and teeth are nibbling and kissing his chest in non-stop manner on the way down to his belly button, my brother starts breathing harshly.
His hands tangle into my hair and start pushing my head down slightly. He´s excited, waiting for it impatiently and I don´t want to tease him any longer. I pull down the last pieces of clothing and take his cock in my hand. It´s so hard and big and soft and velvety smooth, all at the same time. I lower my head and run my tongue for the first time along its length from the base up and stop at the head. I lick around it a few times and return to my starting point at the base.
Tom moans loudly and I can feel that his whole body is tense in excitement. My hot tongue rounds the tip twice more and then I take him into my mouth. I don´t know what I was afraid of, but this is a wonderful feeling. The feeling to be able to give Tom such pleasure, to see him respond to my touch and get so vocal about it too is beyond mind blowing.
His thighs are trembling now like crazy under my hands as I bob my head, his cock being the only thing I can concentrate on right now. My tongue swirl around him, my lips kissing everything they can reach, his throbbing erection being engulfed by my hungry mouth over and over again. As a metal ball in my tongue traces underside of his erection he gets worked up more and more. He starts to roll his hips and gentle thrusts penetrate my mouth. I enjoy the rush our joined bodies elicit and I want it to last as long as possible. My trousers strain as my own erection throbs in need but right now, right in this moment, it’s all about Tom, about my love and devotion I try to show him.
After a while I feel that he is close. Tom moves his hands away from the mess he made of my hair and claws into the fabric of the sofa instead as he fucks my mouth deeper and deeper. I am trying my best to concentrate, relaxing my mouth as much as I can, sucking him down and letting him dictate the speed. As I tentatively start swallowing around him, he arches his back and it’s enough for him to come. I feel that the finale of my hard work is coming.
„Loooove… I… am…“ He can´t even finish the sentence before his hot essence shoots against my tongue, filling my mouth and a Tom collapses against the back rest of the sofa.
I swallow and rest my head on his belly.
He runs his hands through my hair while his breath is slowing down.
When I lift my head and look into his eyes, all I can see is a burning flame of love.
„You were amazing,“ he whispers and I´m happy as a little kid.
„I´m so crazy about you,“ he whispers in my ear and one lonely tear falls upon my face. Maybe a tear of happiness. I´m as happy as I can be.
For a while we just rest in our tight embrace.
„Aren’t your knees hurting?“ Tom asks me with a smile and at that moment I realize how hard the floor is, even with the carpet on it.
„A little bit…“ I smile at him too. I take a blanket which is folded on the end of the sofa and I lie down next to him. I pull the blanket over us and nestle into his slim, naked body. I put my head on his chest while my hands stroke tenderly over his hips.
We both close our eyes and rest in a sweet embrace. I could never have believed what a delight and pleasure this could given me. To be able to give something is much more beautiful than receiving. I love him so much it hurts.
