„I will be making the last one about now, so why don’t you take a seat and wait a minute,“ I command with the authority of a chef and spread some strawberry jam on the last pancake attentively. There, roll it up and that´s it. Pssshhh, I spray some whipped cream on top of it and put a ready dish in front of Tom. „I hope you enjoy, hun,“ I say to Tom and dab his nose with a little of whipped cream.
„Lick!“ he commands and points at his nose with his finger. He squints so that he can just about to see the white dollop on his nose.
„Yes, sir!“ I kiss the whipped cream away and sit down at the table opposite him.
„Wow, that was great. Now I can’t move for at least half an hour, that’s how stuffed I am.“ Tom strokes his belly contentedly and he looks like he is third month pregnant.
„I´m also stuffed, let´s go lie down, okay?“ I stand up and stretch my hands towards him to help him stand up. In the state he is in, it seems that he wouldn´t manage alone.
„Let´s watch a movie, okay?“ Tom beams and pulls me behind him to the bedroom.
„You will be amazed by what we´ve fitted in here,“ he promises while he takes off his t-shirt and jeans and changes into his bathrobe. „So let´s go, you won´t go to bed in jeans, will you?“ he says and throws my bathrobe at me.
He jumps under the blankets and takes a remote control from the nightstand. He waits until I change my clothes and then pushes a button. A screen slowly comes out of the ceiling.
„Wow, that´s great!“ I squeak and rush into the bed. „That´s luxurious.“
A selection list of movies appears on the screen. It looks perfect; except for some old ones, I am not familiar with any of the movies.
„I will choose something you like, okay?“ Tom says and I have agree hapilly.
He points the remote in the direction behind his head and black blinds start slowly covering the windows. At the same time little lights, built in the floor, switch on. After a while it’s as dark as in the cinema. There´s nothing better than to know we’ve used the money we’ve earned to equip a flat. It was always my dream.
I lie down comfortably and I try to put as many pillows as possible behind my back. Like a pasha in a harem, just the women are missing here. But there is still one nice boy here with me, who I have to think about all the time. I will probably never get enough of him.
„Come closer, Tommy,“ I try to tempt him, when I see that he´s making his place comfy on his side of the bed.
„We´re going to watch the movie, right?“ He looks at me and raises his eyebrows. „I know exactly how this would end, so keep lying there nicely and watch the screen, hun, or we won´t see the movie at all.“ He smiles at me and presses the start.
„Okay then.“ I pretend being hurt and try to watch the movie. It´s some romantic comedy. The main character is played by a pretty girl, but I’ve never seen that actress before. The future has really changed and very much so as it seems.
The voice of the main character wakes me up from my deep thoughts when I hear my name. What was that? Are we already so famous that they are talking about us in movies? I glance over at Tom, to see if he heard the same as me, but he doesn´t show any sign that would indicate so. Maybe I’m having hallucinations.
Suddenly I freeze and my eyes pop out when I look at the screen. I´m there! And Tom is right behind me! What the hell?
I look at my brother in astonishment and I see an amused grin on his face. He wanted to get me, as always, and he succeeded.
„Well, movie star, how do you like yourself in the movie?“ Tom punches me lightly and freezes the video at the most unflattering moment he could find; I´m just taking a breath because I´m about to say something and I look like an idiot.
„Well, I´m just wondering what else I´m going to find out about myself,“ I comment.
„How old is that flick? We look quite young in it,“ I say.
„It´s from 2008. At that time we were probably the most famous and they wanted us to participate in the movie, so we took that chance. The roles we played were just minor ones, they were actually just cameos appearances, but it was fun. We had a blast,“ Tom tells me excitedly and presses play again.
I evaluate my movie look, and it´s quite okay. I speak a little weird, but I’ve always been nervous, so I´m not surprised. But my bro really shines when he´s trying to seduce the main character. Again, he was the one who got a role of womanizer. Who else, huh?
„You look good there…“ Tom tells me when I´m fixing my face in front of the mirror in the movie.
„So do you, only your role doesn’t suit you that well.“ I smirk at him right at the moment he starts kissing the main character.
„How was it, did you enjoy it?“ I point in the direction of the screen.
„Errrm, to be honest, it was terrible.“ Tom starts laughing. „Someone kept correcting us, putting us in the right positions, directing us as what aught to be like this or that, so in the end I got nothing from it. Besides, I didn’t care about it at all. The best kisses I always got backstage…“ He blinks at me and moves closer to my lips.
I take advantage of the situation and pull him closer to me by his shoulders. I press him down on me and start to kiss him like crazy.
„You are only mine, I won´t give you to some arrogant girl!“ I tell him threateningly when he pulls away from me.
„Are you jealous?“ My love smiles at me and returns to his place. I take his hand so that the contact created by the kiss won´t be completely lost.
„Yeah, terribly,“ I confess to him without hesitation and send him an apologetic smile. „I know that it´s annoying but I can´t help myself,“ I say sadly when I realize that one of those onsets of sudden jealousy caused the whole incident with Karin. If I were able to control myself better, it wouldn’t need to end all so badly.
We make no more appearances in the second half of the movie, because the main character of course found out that Tom replaced her with a next girl in line and she found some ordinary bloke instead at last. At the end there was a happy ending and a wedding, of course.
„You were not serious when you said that this was my favourite movie, were you?“ I ask Tom, a little bit disappointed.
„Nah, but I needed you to watch and see it. Last time we watched a movie you were just bored, so sorry. Your taste in movies is surely better than that,“ he says and attentively searches for something else will could watch.
„I´m thirsty, I’m going to get a coke,“ I inform him and head to the fridge. I also rip open a bag of chips and pour it’s content into a big dish, something good to munch on. I hate crumbs in bed but I can make an exception for once. Tom has always been the messy one.
I hand the glasses to my brother and take my place in the bed. I put the bowl with chips on the bed between us and take my glass from Tom. I could just lazy about like this the whole weekend. And with my lover lying next to me, I´m in heaven.
„So now we´re going to watch something that we´ve already watched together a thousand times, and despite that, we´ve never discovered the most important thing in there,“ says Tom mysteriously and presses ‚play‘. An incredible noise and music echoes through the room and my brother puts the volume down quickly.
„Sorry, I didn’t know that it would be so loud,“ he looks at me apologetically when he notices that I´m desperately trying to clean the coke which I’ve just spilled on my bathrobe. Oh well, I´m just too jumpy.
I take a look at the screen and it´s pretty evident what are we watching now; the celebration of our 18th birthday. Back then we rented a professional cameraman because those scenes were supposed to be used for our DVD, so we needed quality. But this version is uncut and not edited. Everything is the way the camera caught it.
The memories return to me with full strength, even double memories. The old ones and then the new ones, which I have got from the visit to the past. Now I am going to get the newest ones too and I am not sure I am able to cope with it all.
It´s noisy, music is playing in the background, from time to time I can hear some drunken voice shouting out, but I can´t understand much. And here is a shot of my mom and Gordon. It´s the same situation that I saw when I visited there. My mom is leaning over to to Gordon and she is shouting something into his ear. It´s obvious that they both are already a little bit drunk, but they are having good fun.
Suddenly the camera zooms over to the door and Tom stops the video suddenly. „Here… it´s you.“ He points at the screen. A tall, slim person wearing a cap is standing there. A beard covers the bottom half of his face and a baseball cap hides the other half.
„I realized the cap looked somewhat familiar, but back in the bathroom I just couldn’t put two and two together and recognize my own cap,“ Tom wonders aloud.
„I looked terrible. I wonder how come security didn’t just kick me out. Fortunately, they didn’t notice me. If they noticed me, we wouldn’t be together here right now,“ I say pensively. My whole visit to the past is running through my head. It all seems so long time ago now. Ever since, so many new things have happened despite the fact it has been only three days. Life is really strange. But beautiful.
The celebration goes on exactly as I remember, people start searching for me so that the congratulation ceremony can begin. In the next shot I and Tom are already standing next to each other and crowds of relatives and friends are kissing us. I can’t not to notice the expression in my eyes. I can see joy there. In Tom´s eyes there is nervousness and fear. I already knew that he loved me, he was still about to tell me, and the poor thing was scared to death.
The last kiss from mom and then we blow out the 18 candles together.
„Here it comes,“ Tom points out while he watches the screen in front of him with concentration. He takes my hand, which was just about to grab some more chips from the bowl. I accept it gratefully and squeeze it as if I never wanted to let go.
I focus on the screen and I watch as the distance between us is closing. I reach out to him. He takes a step towards me and puts his hands around my waist. I bring him closer to me and press him tightly to my chest.
„I love you.“ I watch as my own lips on the screen are whispering these words into his ear. The intimacy reflected in our embrace is obvious, but it doesn’t seem too strange. To the uninitiated, it’s just an ordinary brotherly embrace, but for the one who can read the lips there is something more in that message. A message of our love. It’s the beginning of us. I can feel tears rolling down my face.
„I remember how truly bad I felt because I couldn’t kiss you back and tell you the same,“ Tom says quietly. „We had to stop and part, a longer embrace would have been suspicious,“ he finishes and comes closer to me. He wipes the tears away from my face and kisses me tenderly. „I love you,“ he whispers into my ear. „And thank you for doing this for us. I wouldn’t want to be dead right now, not now.“
Tears full of emotion fall down my cheeks and I smile at him. He is so sweet.
„I… love you… too,“ I tell him between soft kisses. Who is really lucky enough to have his first love confession captured on film? Not many people.
While I´m trying to calm down, the party on the screen is going on. I want to watch it, because this is already a new reality, the one that I yet have to remember, but I´m too impatient and I would like to know it all right now.
