The dread-headed boy turned around and yelped when cold water hit his face. They were now lying on the beach, talking, laughing, eating sandwiches Tom’s mother did for them, and Dean, a guy who turned out to be really great kid, only a half year older than Tom, splashed Tom’s overheated body with cold water from his bottle.
They all laughed when Tom jumped up at him, punching him.
„Stop it man!“ laughed Dean and tried to catch his breath when he finally got Tom off of him. „I’m sorry!“ he added when he saw a smirk on Tom’s face. The dread-head only laughed and sat on the blanket the others were lying on.
He really did have fun this afternoon. It felt like the first time in his life that Tom was so relaxed and happy around other people. It was different than with Bill. When he was with Bill, it all was so gentle and sweet and Tom could smell that tension-fueled yet relaxed and comfortable atmosphere between them. Now, with his new four friends, he felt as if he had the real life for the first time.
„It was my sandwich,“ stated Gustav when Tom grabbed one packet and bit into it.
„Sorry,“ he mumbled with mouthfull and smiled. His friends were having fun, they all were laughing, screaming, Georg and Marcella were wildly kissing in the water. When Tom looked at them, he felt a bit jealous. He wanted to be with Bill that way, too.
„Who are you waving at?“
Tom jerked with surprise and turned his head around. His eyes were met with blue ones that belonged to Dean. The dread-head looked around, but the two of them were the only ones left on the blanket. Gustav probably decided to interrupt the love-bird’s private moment.
„No one,“ responded Tom shakily and glanced back at the cliff; Bill was still sitting there, smiling at him.
Dean followed his glance. „Who’s he?“
„Huh?“ Tom blinked at him. „Who’s who?“
„That guy over there. He’s smiling like a mad man at you.“
Tom swallowed hard; he lost all color from his cheeks. „There’s no-one out there,“ he tried with shaky voice.
„Oh yeah, it is. And he’s strange.“
The shock and fear in Tom’s face was obvious. „You… you- what?“
Dean laughed. „Hey man, you seem as if you just saw a ghost! What’s up with you?“
Tom shook his head. „Nothing.“
The youngest one of them was playing with his half eaten sandwich, thinking hard. How is it possible that Dean was able to see Bill, too? Bill told him that Tom is the first person ever who saw him, so why Dean?
„Tom, seriously, you okay?“
„Uhm, I just…“ the dread-head shook his head. „I think I’m going home, I don’t feel well.“
„You sure? I can go with you if-“
„No! No, Dean, but thanks. I just… need to lay down and be alone for a while. But thanks,“ Tom nodded at him and stood up. „Will you tell others that I went home?“
„Yeah.“
„Okay, see ya tomorrow!“
With that, Tom took all his belongings and ran off the beach. He was so confused, so scared. What if Dean told someone about Bill? What if they could see him after all? What would that mean? Tom was so lost in his thoughts, he didn’t notice his mother sitting on the porch. He just ran by her without telling her hello or sparing her a single glance. The boy hid in his room, in the safety of his bed. He felt so confused, so scared.
What will happen now? What should he do?
„Tom?“
A soft knock at door made him jump. His heart was still spinning really fast from the run and shock. He tried to say something, but his voice just gave up. He cleared his throat and tried again.
„Yeah?“
„You okay, honey?“ Simone’s head peeked in, her face was frowned with worry. Tom just sighed and nodded.
„Sure, everything’s fine, mom.“
„You sure?“
„Yes, I am. I just need some rest, that’s all.“
„You didn’t argue with your friends?“
„What? No!“ Tom looked her right in the eye. „I’m just tired, that’s all, mommy. And they’re going home anyway.“
The woman watched him for a little longer and then nodded. „Okay, sweetheart. Get some sleep; dinner will be ready in an hour or so.“
Tom nodded and gave her a small smile. As soon as she was out of his room, Tom stood up on his shaky legs and slowly went to the window. From here, he could only see the cliff, but he was sure his friends would go home soon. And as soon as he finished dinner, he decided he’d go and talk with Bill. He had to know how it was possible. The dread-headed boy sighed and looked to the place were Bill was still sitting. The boy was looking in front of him, watching the sea. He looked so sad, so vulnerable, that Tom’s heart clenched. If it was only possible, he would go to him and hug him. But he couldn’t until he was sure his friends were gone. He simply couldn’t risk Bill’s exposure.
He sighed once again and ran his palm over the cold window.
„I think I might be in love with you,“ he whispered lowly and a small smile played with his lips when the raven-haired boy turned to the direction of Tom’s house, as if he could hear him.
===========
„Mom? I…“
„You what, Tom?“ Simone smiled at her son over her plate.
„Well,“ the boy took in a deep breath, „how did you know you were in love with someone?“ Tom purposefully didn’t use his father’s name; he knew his mother was with Jörg just because they had a baby together. But few last days, his mother was almost all of her time with the doctor, so… maybe she would leave Tom’s father finally.
„Why? Are you in love?“
„No! I mean… maybe, but how would I know for sure?“
Simone smiled and put down her fork. She closed her eyes for a brief moment, then smiled. „Well, when you meet the right person, you know it. There is no definition for it, you can simply feel it. Their smile, their eyes, every single touch of them… it all makes you feel as if you were flying. This person is everything you can think about, you would do anything to be with them.“
On Tom’s lips played a small smile. Everything his mother just told him was right; he felt like flying when he was with Bill, he felt small butterflies in his stomach every time Bill smiled at him, touched him. He thought about him day and night. Tom would do anything to be with Bill.
So yes, he was in love.
„Who is she?“
Tom blinked and confusedly glanced at his smiling mother. „Who’s who?“
„That girl you’re in love with.“
„Eh… “ Tom swallowed and rather than answering his mother’s question, he put another potatoe to his mouth. His mother only laughed.
„You don’t have to tell me.“
„I- mom?“
„Yes, honey?“ The kind smile Simone gave him made Tom feel safe; she wouldn’t judge him.
„What if- what if she’s not a she but, a he, maybe?“
The kitchen fell into silence. Tom was unsure about his mother’s reaction now. What if he was wrong? What if his mother won’t be okay with his orientation? What if…
„Is it him? I mean, that boy, Bill?“
Tom looked his mom right in the eye and nodded.
„You’re spending a lot of time with him, aren’t you?“ Once again, Tom only nodded. „Hey, relax,“ Simone laughed when she saw her son’s tensed body, „It’s okay, just breathe, Tom. Tell me more about him, hm?“
„I… I love him, mom.“
All of sudden, there was a loud bang when someone powerfully closed the door. Tom jumped up in shock and when he turned around, in between doors his father was standing, drunk.
„You love who?!“
Tom swallowed. „No-one.“
„Oh, c’mon Tom! I heard you, you love him?!“
„I… I don’t- I…“
„Shut up, Jörg! You have no right saying anything against it!“
The drunk man turned his attention to Tom’s mother, who was now standing in front of her son. „Oh, you think? My son won’t be a fag!“
„You’re a fag yourself!“ Tom was standing with an angry expression. „You’re cheating on mom with that shit and you’re telling me I’m a fag?! Fuck off, dad!“
„Tom, don’t…“ Simone tried to stop him but her son was too angry.
„Shut up, you brat! Who do you think you are? Yelling at me?!“ The first slap landed on Tom’s cheek. The dread-head growled, he was breathing through his nose, trying to calm down or otherwise he would kick his father’s ass.
„It’s your fault our son is a fag, you-“
„Tom!“
Just then Tom’s fist met his father’s face. „Try to say it one more time and I’ll kill you! Nothing is mom’s fault, you idiot! If it’s someone’s fault, it’s yours! You were fucking that jerk on our couch! You never were here for me! Just because of you, no girl ever wanted me! So try once more, blame it on mom, and I swear I-“
„You stupid queer!“
This time it was Tom who ended on the ground with his father on top of him. They were fighting, shouting, beating each other. Simone tried to pull them apart, but she was just a weak woman. Her only chance to stop them was to call someone, or otherwise they would kill each other.
While Jörg was beating Tom’s life out of his body, Simone ran for her phone. She called Gordon; he was the only one who crossed her mind. She was crying on the phone, begging him to come as quickly as possible. She was so afraid she’d lose her only child.
„Get off of me!“ Tom was fighting really hard; he had decided to protect his mother’s honor, his own life. He didn’t want to end up like this. A murder would destroy his chances to be with Bill in the afterlife.
„I’ll get it out of you! You won’t be with any stupid fag!“
„Don’t call Bill a fag, ever again!“ Tom kicked his father’s crotch and for a while he was on top of him. „I swear, try it once more and I won’t hesitate to kill you!!“
„Do it! ‚Cause that little bitch is nothing more than-“
Tom hit his father in the chin but before he could hit him again, strong arms pulled him off of him. Tom tried to fight with those arms, but he was weakened after the fight and the man standing behind him was a lot stronger.
„I’ll kill you, you son of a bitch!“
„No, you won’t touch that boy ever again!“ For the first time, Tom turned around, his vision still blurred with anger. The man that pulled him away from his father was Doctor Gordon. ‚What the hell is he doing here? And how did he get here so quickly?‘
„And who are you to tell me what I can do with my son?!“
„Baby, come here!“ Simone pulled Tom closer to her, leaving the two men alone. She didn’t want Tom anywhere near her husband. „Are you okay?“ Worriedly, she was wiping a blood from Tom’s nose.
The boy hissed and pulled away. „I… I have to go out, mom. I- I can’t stay here. I’m… sorry.“ He turned around and without any other glance, Tom ran away. He needed to be alone; he needed to get out of the house, as far away from his father as possible.
He was so angry, his whole body was on fire. Tom’s eyes filled up with tears and he didn’t know if it was from pain or anger. He could barely walk, his breath was heavy but he still kept going. He needed to reach the beach where he would be hidden from everyone.
Everyone except Bill.
„Tom! Tom, what happened?! I heard screaming and fighting! What happened?“ In the blink of an eye, Bill was by Tom’s side, worriedly watching other boy.
„Nothing… my dad’s an idiot!“
„What did he do to you?!“ Bill carefuly stopped Tom’s vehement steps and made him look him in the eyes. That, what he saw, was too much, even for Bill. Dry blood all over Tom’s face, his black eye and a cut eyebrow. „What happened to you, Tomi?“ whispered Bill and with every bit of carefulness, he touched Tom’s cheek.
„I…“ The dread-head looked brokenly into Bill’s eyes and tears started falling down from his eyes. Bill didn’t hesitate; he quickly, still carefully, hugged Tom around his shoulders. He pressed him against his own body, lowly whispering calming words to his ear.
„I… I love you, Bill!“
It came as a lightening from clear sky. Bill froze.
„You-?“
„I do,“ whimpered Tom to his shoulder and squeezed his body even tighter. „I love you so fucking much! I’m sure I do, and I told it to my mom and… and he came and said that I’m a fag and we fought and… I love you, Billie,“ the dread-head choked out.
The raven-haired boy stood there, closely hugging the shivering boy and in his own eyes were tears. He knew it wasn’t right that Tom fell in love with him. He knew it wasn’t right loving Tom back. But he just couldn’t help it; Tom was everything Bill had. He felt so happy with this boy; it wasn’t even possible how happy he was when they were together. They shouldn’t be in love, there were rules for it; Tom couldn’t love Bill, still, the raven haired boy couldn’t, didn’t want to do a thing about it. He wanted Tom to love him.
„I love you too, Tomi.“
Tom sobbed out loudly and squeezed Bill’s slim body again. He needed to get everything out of him, and Bill let him. He stroked his back, whispered calming, loving words into Tom’s ear and let him cry his pain out. They were standing in the middle of the beach, closely hugging. It took Tom a while before he calmed down enough so he was able to stand on his own again. He wiped away tears from his cheeks and without a hint of hesitation, he passionately connected Bill’s lips with his own. He was kissing him as if there was no tomorrow for them. And Bill was kissing him back.
„I love you,“ breathed out Tom when they finally pulled apart. Bill smiled at him and kissed his cheek.
„I know, Tomi. I know and I love you, too.“
Another kisses came.
==========
„Tell me, how is it possible for him to see you?“
They were sitting on the cold sand, Bill hugging Tom’s sore body, quietly playing with his long dreadlocks. Tom told him about the fight he had with his father, he told him about everything that happened back in the city, about how his father fucked every man that passed by. Tom told him about this afternoon, when Dean saw him.
„I don’t know, Tomi. But you have to tell him that I was… I don’t know, just some friend of yours.“
„He won’t believe me,“ Tom bit his lower lip.
„Why do you think so?“ Bill lightly stroked his cheek and kissed his forehead. It hurt him, seeing Tom like this, with all those bruises.
„I… I kind of told him there was no-one on the cliff, but he saw me waving and smiling at you so, yeah, he won’t believe me. But don’t worry, he doesn’t believe to the story about you.“
„He doesn’t?“
„Yeah, he told me that everything about you and this cliff is not true. So, I don’t think he’ll be searching for answers.“
„Good,“ breathed out Bill and gave Tom a small smile when he noticed his concerned face. „Don’t worry, everything’s gonna be okay.“
„Promise?“
The raven-haired boy cupped Tom’s cheeks and gave him a small peck on the lips. „I promise.“
For the first time since the fight, Tom smiled. „I love you, did I told you that already?“
„No,“ chuckled Bill, „tell me it again. And again, and again.“
They both laughed and connected their lips in once again. None of them noticed the boy who was standing on the far side of the beach, watching them.
