It was three days after Friday’s dance and Tom hadn’t left the house since then. It was Monday and Tom didn’t go to school. He wanted nothing more than to lay down in his bed and forgot about the world. And his mother willingly let him.
But the dread-head knew he couldn’t just lay there forever. He had to go to the cliff at one point. He needed to speak with Bill. Tom tried to avoid the thoughts about him for a whole three days. He saw him standing above the sea, waiting for him; but Tom never came.
The dread-head was aware of the fact that he couldn’t be hidden forever. He needed to know the truth. He had to face Bill sooner or later.
But not just right now; maybe later.
With this in mind, Tom took a spoonful of the vanilla ice cream he loved so much. Vanilla ice cream is the medicine for everything.
==========
Finally.
Tom’s mother left to go to town for some groceries and Tom could freely go out. Simone could see he was getting better but she didn’t want him running around all alone when he hit his head just a few days ago. And her son didn’t complain. He still wasn’t sure if he was ready to meet Bill face to face. Tom sighed; he couldn’t hold it off any longer.
It was late afternoon and the sun was still shinning high above the sea. The waves were quietly splashing the shore and the salty air was exactly what Tom needed to clear his mind.
As he left the house and the hot sun hit his eyes, he felt more alive than in the past few days. And to his pleasure, on the small place at the cliff, a boy was sitting with dark black hair, brown shirt and loose trousers.
Tom smiled to himself and headed towards Bill. Maybe he was confused and scared about the whole being-dead-living-teenager thing, but he still did miss Bill. And seeing him again made Tom unnaturally happy. Right now, when he saw him after such a long time, Tom was sure he was ready to face him again. No matter what happened.
The dread-head went through the grass; his fingers were brushing the soft tips of it. It felt so nice, peaceful. Tom sat down on the grass beside the raven-haired boy, his eyes glued to the horizon. He moistened his lips with the tip of his tongue and inhaled. Without looking at the boy beside him, Tom lay his head down on his shoulder. He felt Bill tensed under him, but relax after a few seconds.
„How come I can touch you?“
„What?“
Tom laughed quietly and shook his head. „How is it possible that I can touch you, feel you?“ The dread-head lifted his head and looked at the pale boy’s face. They’d known each other for just two months and Tom never was this close to him.
He was really beautiful.
Bill was looking at him from under his long lashes and his plain chocolate eyes were glistering with sparkles of the hot sun and sea. His eyes were telling Tom that Bill knew exactly what he was talking about. The teenager just waited for him to speak, but Bill just sighed and shook his head. He turned his head back to face the sea and closed his eyes. He inhaled salty air, then exhaled deeply. He wet his lips.
„How do you know?“
Tom smiled and sat up, closely watching Bill’s face. „A friend of mine told me.“
„A friend?“
Tom nodded, even if Bill wasn’t facing him; he was sure the other boy saw him at the corner of his eye.
„Well,“ Bill rubbed his forehead, „I don’t know how it is possible, Tom.“
„You don’t?! Why?“
It was the first time that afternoon when Tom could see a smile playing on Bill’s lips. A small one, but still it was a smile. „You have to believe me, Tom. I don’t know. You shouldn’t be able to see me, let alone touch me, feel me.“
Tom sighed, frustrated. „I don’t understand it.“
„Me either, Tomi.“
They were looking each other in the eye. Tom shivered; Bill’s look was so intense. The dread-headed boy gulped and inhaled shakily. He opened his mouth but closed it a second after. He hadn’t a clue what to say.
„Do you want to know what really happened that day?“ Bill’s question cut the awkward silence around them. Tom once again opened his mouth but no words came out, so he just nodded and Bill smiled at him. The raven-haired boy reached his hand and when it found Tom’s, he squeezed lightly.
Bill took one deep breath and started telling his life story.
„It was the day before my sixteenth birthday and my parents left to town to buy me a cake. You know, my mommy wasn’t really a good baker for those times.“ A small smile appeared on raven-haired’s lips. „So, they left for town and few hours later, a storm started. My sister and I were alone at home and there wasn’t any wood for fire and we were freezing. You know in this house,“ Bill pointed at Tom’s new home, „there wasn’t any heating, just a fireplace.“
„My sister, Ariel, was really demanding. She hated me for my… well, others say it was my beauty, but I personally think it was just pure hate to my whole being. I never understood why, though. So, she sent me for the woods. It was raining really hard, I almost couldn’t see in front of my face. But I went anyway. You know, she was my sister and I loved her a lot, even if she was so cruel to me, I didn’t want her freezing.“
Bill fell silent. He was staring in front of him into the slightly wavy waves. His face was expressionless. His eyes ware covered with light shadow from the past. Bill was back at that day. He returned to the day he died. In his minds eye he could see everything. Sharp heavy raindrops falling from the dark sky. Lightening which was sparkling above the stormy sea. Bill could even feel the wetness of his clothes.
Tom was watching him, concern written in his eyes. He couldn’t see, couldn’t feel what Bill saw, what he had felt. But he knew he had to be there for the raven-haired boy. Tom glanced down on their entwined hands and squeezed slightly as he scooted closer to the other boy and with a free hand, Tom tried to hug him as best as he could. And Bill did appreciate it. He turned his head a little and gave the dread-headed boy a small smile.
He leaned into Tom’s arms, against his side and went on with the narration.
„When my family used to live here, we had a small barn in the middle of the way to the cliff. The woods were there. I was almost in there when the lightening hit almost beside me.“ Tom shivered at that thought. He hugged Bill tightly. „I shrieked and started running back to the house. I know I was stupid, I should have just run to the barn, but I was scared to death. So, I was running to the house when another lightening bolt hit the tree next to me. It threw me away and I swear I broke few of bones. It hurt a lot but I tried to stand up anyway. I wanted to go home, Tom. I just wanted to go home, be safe.“
Tom felt tears in his eyes as he hugged the other boy as tight as he possibly could. He could feel Bill’s desperation. His throat was clenched with an invisible iron hand and it almost prevented him from breathing.
„But I wasn’t that lucky, as you know.“ Bill’s smile was bitter now. „I stood up, it hurt like hell but I stood up and tried to go home. I was crying, I was calling for Ariel to help me. But she stood behind the window, watching me with smile on her lips. It killed me sooner than the storm could do it. I knew my sister hated me, but I still loved her and her hate killed me inside at that moment. I was weak; my body was on fire and I couldn’t feel the left side of it.“
Once again, Bill fell silent.
They were sitting next to each other, Tom tightly holding Bill’s body to prevent the shaking of his own, which was on fire now. He could feel that pain for Bill, and it was unbearable. In that moment, he was really glad for any unnaturalness that meant he could feel Bill. He pressed Bill’s body against his own and inhaled Bill’s scent.
It was weird. Bill was a ghost, so why did he smell of roses and violets? Tom decided it wasn’t important now. The dread-headed teenager just wanted to comfort the fragile boy in his arms. He knew, he could feel, it was hurting Bill, telling him what happened that day. He personally couldn’t imagine the pain Bill must have felt, even if he was close to that feeling.
„I gave up.“
Tom blinked. „What?“
„I gave up,“ whispered Bill again. „It hurt so much and I was barely standing. I knew I couldn’t manage the way home, not alone. And there was no-one who would help me. So I just lay down and cried. I cried for my pain, for my mother and father who never saw me again. I cried even for my sister who was still watching me.“
And Tom hated her. He hated Ariel more and more by the second. How could someone be so cruel to do this? Just stand there and watch as someone, a close relative, was dying. The dread-headed boy clenched his fists and shut his eyes. He hated her so,so much!
„And then,“ continued Bill blankly, „it happened. Do you remember the tree I mentioned earlier? The one lightening hit on? That tree broke. And it fell. I shrieked and I don’t know how, but I managed to roll away somehow. The tree didn’t kill me. But my fortune wasn’t endless. I rolled away; I rolled down from the cliff…“
Tom froze. His body was motionless, only his arms were tightly squeezing the other boy. The time flew by. Neither one of them said anything. Both of them were lost in their own thoughts. Bill was remembering the day he just talked about. And Tom?
Well, there were too many thoughts on the dread-heads mind. First off, it was hate for Bill’s sister. If she just did something, Bill could have been alive. But then again; if she did something, Bill wouldn’t be here right now, with him. And Bill’s death? It was something that made Tom shiver all over his body. Only that thought made him feel uneasy.
His arms squeezed Bill on their own even tighter.
„Tom?“
No answear.
„Tomi?“ Bill tried it again. It might sound weird, but even if he was post mortem, he needed breath and Tom’s arms disallowed him that.
„Are you a ghost?“
At that moment, Bill actually laughed. This simple question cleared the tense awkwardness around them.
„Why are you laughing?“ Tom pulled away just enough to see in Bill’s eyes and frowned.
„It’s nothing, sorry. And no, I’m not a ghost.“
This time, Tom pulled away completely. „You’re not? But you are not alive so… what are you?“
Bill smiled at him and Tom’s cheeks got a hint of pink. „You’re cute, you know?“
„Bill!“ His cheeks were hotter now. „Don’t change the subject.“
„Sorry,“ the raven hair boy smiled. „I’m not alive and I’m not dead. And I am definitely not a ghost. You know ghosts are creatures that were murdered. It’s generally known that a ghost can become every soul who doesn’t cross the river to the other side. It’s not true. In here are rules, too. And don’t look at me like that, Tom! It’s not like I’m making it!“
„Sorry,“ whispered Tom, „you can continue.“
„Thanks.“ Bill gave him a look and than smiled at him.
Tom smiled back.
„Like I said, there are rules in here. Only the ones who were murdered can become a ghost. Because ghosts are evil’s creatures that are here for revenge. Then here is something like Hell and Heaven, but you know the real meaning of it, right? You were good you’ll go to Heaven. You weren’t? Than let’s put you in Hell, it’s simple. But then there is a No-man’s Land.“
„No-man’s Land?“ Tom blinked confusedly. What the hell is Bill talking about?
„Yeah, the No-man’s Land. I already told you about Hell and Heaven; if you are a believer, you most definitely will go to Heaven ‚cause God, or whoever is up there, loves his lambs. But I’m in No-man’s Land. It’s a place where souls who aren’t believers and don’t have any sins, so they can’t go to Hell either. Here are souls that haven’t died by natures way, but neither were they murdered. And that’s exactly me. I’m not a believer but I haven’t commited any sins. And I wasn’t murdered, but I didn’t die naturally. Do you understand, Tom?“
Tom looked more than confused. He was silent for few minutes, trying to process everything Bill told him. „Okay, so there is a place for every soul?“
Bill nodded with a smile. „Exactly.“
„And what about those who committed suicide? What about them?“
Bill frowned. „Why are you asking this?“
„Just curious.“
„Tom.“
„Bill?“
They were staring at each other. Bill gave up first.
„Fine. For that ones who committed suicide is here a place, too. It’s something like the No-man’s Land, but it’s not the same.“
Tom bit his lip and looked to the ground. „Okay.“
„What are you planning, Tom?“
Tom looked up at him and grinned. „Nothing. Bill?“
„Yes?“ The raven hair boy asked doubtfully.
„Can I kiss you?“
The slightly younger boy, well it depends; Bill, in theory, was older than Tom, anyways, he shivered and looked at the dread-head in front of him. He exhaled shakily. „I…“
His sentence was cut off by Tom’s lips lightly pressing against his own.
