I feel something brush over my face and jerk awake.
„Bill, wake up, we should go to bed,“ Tom talks to me, his face next to mine as he tries to wake me up gently.
I open my eyes and notice that I can´t see anything. I am plunged in absolute darkness and I don’t remember for a while where I am. Then my head starts to work again and I remember that I´m in my living room in Berlin.
„I probably fell asleep, didn’t I?“ I question what seems to be more than obvious.
„Not probably, but surely. You’ve already been asleep for two hours,“ answers Tom and strokes my cheek. „We have a bedroom here, if you want to sleep more comfortably. And we have also a shower and a big bath.“ He grins and switches on a little lamp over the television.
I stretch my body, cringing over stiffness of my back, I must have slept in a totally twisted position. I´m covered by a soft blanket as Tom has always cared about me, not letting me to catch a cold.
„Thanks for the blanket.“ I give him a smile and start getting up slowly. „I would like to take a shower now. I didn’t particularly enjoy my morning one, so I am going to take another one,“ I inform Tom and head to the bathroom. I sort of half remember I should grab some underwear and my bathrobe on the way.
My eyes sweep over the beautiful big double bed and I can already see myself there with Tom. At the same time slight fear makes my stomach roll. I push away all thoughts of what might be happening quite soon as I enter the bathroom.
Tom is brushing his teeth, from time to time he glances into the mirror and watches unobtrusively what I´m doing. Very soon he finds that I´m doing nothing. I´m standing in the middle of the bathroom, hesitating if I should take my clothes off now or wait until Tom leaves. Again, the presence of fear… I have to get rid of that. I love him and I haven’t wanted anything else in my whole life, so I should not be shy now.
I take my underwear off with determination, but disappear in the shower remarkably quickly and I close the glass door behind me. I turn on the warm water and I let my tired body be soothed by steady, warm stream of water.
It feels great as the water washes away all tiredness of the entire day. For a whole ten minutes I enjoy the warm shower, heavenly scent of shower gel and the feeling of being refreshed, squeaky clean and relaxed. I turn the shower off, open the door carefully and find out that I´m alone in a bathroom. I put on a soft bathrobe.
In the mirror there is a monster with a black face and wet hair starring at me. I wrap my hair into a big towel and look for something to remove my make-up with. I am aiming at making my face clean, fresh looking and all natural, exactly as Tom likes it most.
I start to feel a crippling feeling of fear taking over me slowly again, but I drive it away immediately. I should not be afraid. Well, he has known me for such a long time and he knows what I like and what not. Hopefully I´m into the same stuff in this life as in my old one. I also hope that I won´t disappoint him. I have disadvantage here and I am nervous about it. Unlike him, I don´t know anything about him in that field.
When I am done cleaning my face, leaving it smooth as a baby’s bum, I try my best at blow drying my hair I still don´t know how to style. I let it be how it is, brush my teeth and put on my clean underwear. Now I am ready for the bedroom. I turn the lights off and I find myself in a dark corridor. I can see soft light filtering from underneath the bedroom’s door, everything else is surrounded by darkness.
My knees start to shake a little bit, but I overcome that weakness and walk slowly to the bedroom. The door is ajar and I push it open, entering carefully.
Tom is half-hidden under the blanket, breathing regularly. He looks like he’s asleep. I walk slowly to my side of the bed, trying to not to wake him up. I take off the bathrobe and slowly slip underneath the covers. I turn off the little lamp and hypnotize the ceiling above me that almost melts into the black darkness. The only light penetrating into our space is the one coming from the outside street lamps and I can also hear silent whispering of the trees in the garden.
Something shifts on the bed next to me. I stop breathing. He wasn’t asleep, he was waiting for me.
I can feel his hand searching for mine under the blankets. I meet him halfway, my left hand reaching for his, and when our hands finally entwine, I give him a light squeeze to let him know we have found each other. Finally we are together. Oh God, the fear, it´s here again.
Tom is slowly moving over to get closer to me. He´s still holding my hand as if he wanted to reassure me: „…don´t worry, I won´t hurt you…“
I turn slowly towards him, taking a deep breath, but before I can say anything I have his warm lips on mine and soon our tongues are dancing together in a slow gentle rhythm. I feel how the fear I felt disappears slowly into his sweet mouth, and I´m glad that I can´t say anything. I wouldn’t know what to say anyway. What I´m feeling right now in this unique moment is not possible to express with any words. It´s indescribable.
I pull him to my chest as close as possible and I run my hands through his hair, the strands of his hair tickling my cheeks deliciously. And he smells so wonderful. His long fingers are stroking my chest and then they are slowly moving over to my black star and back again.
Tom is pressed to me with the whole length of his slender body and his cock, covered only by a thin piece of clothing, is pressing into my hip. After long minutes of neverending beautiful making out he moves carefully to settle on top of my body. With his knees he makes a space between my thighs and moves up a little bit, so that he doesn’t crush me. Unwillingly he leaves my insatiable lips, and after a second he starts to kiss down my neck.
I let a deep breath out and throw my head back, turning it to one side, offering him the most sensitive places of my skin. He knows my special spots all too well and aims exactly for them. My back arches in rush of pleasure, his wet mouth making me groan quietly. The kisses are passionate but gentle at the same time, and I can sense his longing much more than my own.
My hands leave his hair and stroke a line down his back. His hips start to rock rhythmically and our groins are touching, sliding along each other, colliding deliciously. It´s so beautiful, that the only thing I I can do is to moan quietly in the regular rhythm of the slow motions of his hips. Our hips pick up the speed and the mutual urgency of our longing get stronger.
He covers my whole chest with gentle kisses, his tongue tenderly circling my nipples, then he slowly moves further down. My excitement is getting to the point of being unbearable.
„Tom,“ I whisper as his tongue is all over my tattooed star and at the same time he starts to peel off the last barrier between us from me; my underwear. The moment he brushes the tip of my cock with his tongue the level of my arousal is shooting through the roof. „Oooh… Tom… so good…“
I´m struggling not to take a grip of his hair and push his head into my lap so that I won´t suffocate him, but I’m getting slowly out of control. I raise my hands, grab the pillow under my head and I lose myself in his touches.
His hot, wet mouth is taking me in, his hand pulling and stroking and just after a while I can feel my climax approaching quickly. I can feel all the nerve endings of my body so intensely it makes me feel I could die with delight.
„Aaaaah,“ I´m moaning as the exquisite feeling of my high swallows me up. I can feel the fireworks shooting through my body as I spill over his lips with an explosion of never-ending delight.
Our laboured breathing slows down and the most tender lover in this world covers my cheek with sweet kisses. I return his gesture lovingly as hot tears starts to roll down my cheeks, the tears of unspeakable happiness. He seems to understand and kisses away the salty water off my face.
„Oh, thank you, love, that was wonderful,“ I whisper into his ears and get another soft kiss for it.
„My pleasure, sweetie,“ Tom answers me and puts his head on my chest. „I´m happy your first time with me was enjoyable.“ I can hear in his voice that he is smiling. „And please, stay like this forever…“ he completes the sentence quietly and we both slowly fall into the land of dreams.
I´m running down the street, someone is running after me. I can´t turn around but I´m scared of the one who is behind my back. I can´t breathe and I start to get a stinging, stabbing pain in my side. I have to keep running though, otherwise he´s going to catch me, I will die and I will never see my Tom ever again. I´m gasping for air… Someone is calling my name from afar. „Bill, Bill“
„Wake up.“
I open my eyes and I can see his brown eyes above me. „You were having a dream, you were so restless, jerking your body around so wildly,“ Tom says while he strokes my hair.
I wrap him in my arms tightly and press myself to him. „I had to run and run and run otherwise I would lose you,“ I try to explain to him what I was dreaming about..
„Don´t worry, you won´t lose me so easily. I´m here to stay and I am all yours and I will always be, if you want me to of course,“ my lover answers me and kisses me on my forehead. „Sleep now, it´s still too early.“
„I´m afraid the nightmare comes back,“ I whisper but my eyes are already getting heavy again….. It can´t come back… it can´t… come…
~*~
I open one eye slowly, then the second one and it takes me a while to realize where I am and what I´m doing here. I´m at home, in my bedroom, in our bed. Yes, from now on I will have no other home.
I roll to my other side slowly and see strands of light dreadlocks peeping out from under the blanket right next to me. The blanket is rising and going down again with his regular breathing and I have a feeling of absolute happiness in this moment. Something as intense as this very feeling I’ve never felt before in my life. That must be it, something I have desperately longed for for ten long years, something that I’d definitely given up on and now it came true. Finally.
I try to be as still as possible and only watch his regular breathing, but after a while I can´t help myself and I move a bit closer to see his face, his beautiful, gentle, almost child-like face. When he sleeps, he´s almost more innocent than a baby. I brush his hair aside so I can touch him. I caress his face carefully, smell his hair, but still I don´t want to wake him. He´s so cute like that and I can´t take my eyes off this beauty.
Yesterday he was so incredibly gentle with me. I´d have never thought that about him. I had always considered Tom to be much rougher and I would have never dreamt that he could be so vastly different. I feel like I fell in love with the same person all over again last night, the same person expressing himself in such a different way. In my erotic dreams he has always been the merciless conqueror, but yesterday he proved to me how wrong I have been all along.
A small movement registers with me and next I know gorgeous brown eyes are blinking at me, a wide smile plastered on his face.
„Just five more minutes, mom…“ Tom begs with a childlike voice, the same way I used to do when I was waking him up for school.
„We´re waking up, sunshine, school is over, it´s gonna be midday.“ I give into his game.
„Noooooo, I don´t like thaaaat,“ Tom whines so loud it´s killing my ears. „Mom, give me a kiss, or I won´t go anywhere.“ The little schoolboy grins at me and I fulfill his request immediately. But I give him a smacker like he would get from mom, I pull his blanket down and tickle his belly.
„Nooooo,“ he starts again but he´s at least awake and it´s always a success with Tom.
„So hurry up. Go pee, brush your teeth, eat breakfast and off to school,“ I continue playing the role of a caring mom.
„But I don´t want to go,“ Tom whines and pulls his blanket back over him. „I surely have a fever and I have to stay in bed today,“ he plays the game he often tried to play on mom.
„Very well, sleep now then darling, I’m going to take a shower meanwhile.“ I give up on trying and I slowly leave the warm bed.
