The old man opens the big wooden yard gate, waiting for me nervously. He looks thrilled; he has finally finished his twenty-year work, and I hope his hobby won’t kill me. The closer I get to the moment, the more scared I am.
„Hi, Bill, would you care for a cup of coffee first or do you want to go straight to Beda?“grandpa asks me.
„Hey, grandpa. I’m scared shitles, so I guess a nice hot cup of coffee could help me calm down my nerves.“ Oh my God, I am so fucking nervous, just like before a concert.
The kitchen is messy as always, but my coffee cup is already clean and ready for the next dose of caffeine. Grandpa likes me and he even washes up for me. Scotty is running around the yard, barking out loud, he’s probably hunting some lost sparrows.
I look at the old man who is fussing around the kitchen and smashing around with dishes. He looks very excited, so I hope he has made the calculations right and hasn’t built me a coffin instead of a time-machine.
„Yes, I was thinking about it. I have to know the hour exactly, so I decided to go to our 18th birthday party. It was on August 31st 2007 in Hamburg in Indochina. That is… that was a Thai restaurant with an ice bar. It started at around 7 o’clock in the evening, but we all got a little smashed before. Some friends were there, also family and people from the team, they’re basically our family, so I could meet them all again. I’d like to be there at about 7:30, so I have some time to look around,“ I inform grandpa so he will know when to set the arrival time. The exact co-ordinates are going to be set in Beda, there’s a great GPS in there.
„You wanna see how you looked when you were younger, don’t you?“ the old man laughs. „No wonder, I have also met myself once and I was really shocked. I even remembered what I was thinking about then. I must warn you, it’s a really strange feeling. A little bit schizophrenic. But you can handle that, don’t worry. The important thing is: don’t try to speak with yourself, it could go very wrong. Remember, you are going there because of Tom, so he’ll be the one person you will care about. But don’t bother explaining who you are, he wouldn’t believe you anyway. You have to act and behave like a random stranger. Speak to him only if there’s no other way around it.“
„I’ll do my best, grandpa,“ I promise him, but in my mind I know I don’t mean it, that this is the first time I have ever lied to him. I have Tom’s first letter in my pocket. I have been thinking about it at home for very long time, what would happen if I had received Tom’s letter sooner than after the birthday congratulation that ruined it all. If I had read his ‚I love you, Bill‘. I would have probably think at first that it was a fucking prank from my brother, but I was madly in love with him then so I guess if I read this, I wouldn’t be able to resist. Besides, it’s the original letter and we could always recognize each other’s handwriting.
I have to think about it again, but I came to a conclusion it can’t cause any space-time paradoxes. Of course, Tom wouldn’t fuck so many chicks because he would have me, but it shouldn’t change their lives, Tom always dumped them right away.
Unlike him, I didn’t have as many, but there were still a few of them. What would happen to them, if they hadn’t spent a couple of nights with me? I hope it won’t be anything serious. Most of them wanted me just because of my fame anyway and now they have other partners, maybe even children.
It could even help Sabine; she wouldn’t have had a murder on her conscience. Our eventual relationship with Tom would have needed to be kept secret; I bet it could make it to the news. I don’t know, the thoughts are rushing through my head again and again, but it can’t influence the history as much as if I had come to safe Jesus from the cross, right?
Maybe I’m selfish, but I would be so glad if I were able to live just for a moment what I dreamt of my entire life and now I have the chance to make it come true.
„So, are you ready?“ grandpa asks me. My thoughts had drifted off and the coffee has got cold. I drink up the cold slurry, because I need a shot of caffeine like never before.
Beda is neatly polished, red-and-black, looking really great. I hope the car won’t look too funny or won’t catch somebody’s attention to try to steal him, because that would be a disaster. Grandpa has attached a very loud alarm to Beda, but the thieves could break it off if they wanted to, I am sure. I have to park somewhere close to the club to get there in time.
„So, Sir, you are welcome to sit down,“ grandpa invites me and lends me a special overall I have to have on during the trip to keep everything together. I put it on over my leather suit. The old man puts a helmet on my head, making me feel like a cosmonaut. I have a heart-monitoring machine attached to my body; it should give me energy after landing, if my heart won’t be capable to deal with the pressure. Grandpa has done everything perfectly. He made me do countless doctors‘ tests to know how I am doing.
I kissed Scotty goodbye already in the yard, so I can now sit behind the wheel and fasten the seat-belt. I enter the date, time and place of landing on the screen, now I only have to turn the key and I’m ready to go.
Please, God, don’t let the machine kill me, I pray; me, the old atheist.
Grandpa is already anxiously waiting next to the monitor to make everything run smoothly. There’s going to be an hour with no connection. I’m going to be away for exactly sixty minutes, but I have to arrive an hour later, so my body won’t notice any changes.
I don’t understand all these technical details, but the old man knows what he’s doing. If everything goes well, I am back home in an hour. So Bill, let’s do it, don’t be a chicken and turn the key… Three… Two… One… Zero… Mooooooooooooom…
31.8.2007
There is an adrenalin rush spreading through my head and I black out.
When I come round again I look around to see where I am. I don’t feel any different; no pain, that’s a relief, I guess my heart handled it well so I didn’t need resuscitation.
The co-ordinates were exact, I am parked near the bar, unfortunately on the sidewalk. Never mind, I should be glad I didn’t land in the Elbe River which flows just a few metres from the street. I hope nobody saw me land.
I put the helmet down to see the way, I quickly turn to a normal car steering mode and back from the sidewalk to the street. I have to find a parking lot behind the restaurant and pay attention to the traffic signs so I won’t get pulled over by the cops. That could be a fatal mistake.
I finally find a free spot. Beda is not a big vehicle, it’s more like a shopping cart on gas.
I slowly take off the overall, leaving it in the backseat. The windshield is dark so no one can see the interior, but an expert would recognize immediately Beda is anything but a normal car.
I put the sunglasses on, adjust the baseball cap, check my pocket if the letter is still in its place, and I’m ready to leave the car. It’s exactly 7:40 in the evening. The celebration should have already started, but I have no clue what we were doing at that time. We had been boozing since lunch, so my attention was a little bit blurred.
I get out of the car, lock it properly and walk towards the block of flats where I can go through to the backyard of the club. Even though it’s the end of August, it’s freezing outside, luckily I have put on some warm clothes.
I’m very lucky, because the front door of the house is open. I go through the house corridor towards the club and then freeze for a moment. My younger me and my brother are standing by the back door, smoking. I take a step back immediately, hiding behind the gate so they won’t notice my presence. They can’t know I came through the back door, I would look strange to them straight away.
C´mon guys, smoke quickly. You are hindering me and I’m gonna miss everything. I stare at us in disbelief. My God, we were so young, handsome and innocent. Tom is so cute, gambolling like a spring lamb. He was always like that; always moving around, unable to stay in one place. Finally, he flips the fag somewhere in my direction and we both go into the club. I hope we haven’t closed the door. I am praying for the second time today… What a frequency. Nothing at all, all my life, and now twice in one day.
I get out of the back of the gate carefully, looking around and quickly running to the door. As I grip the handle, I feel relieved; it’s open. I look through the dark corridor gingerly; I can’t see anybody, so I go inside and close the door behind me. I have my mobile phone ready in my hand, I hope nobody will care it’s a type that doesn’t exist yet. I guess it won’t work here anyway, but I have it as an alibi if I met somebody, so I can pretend I am making a call. I would probably start babbling about the club’s security system so everyone could believe I’m part of the security crew. It’s not necessary now though, because there is nobody around me at all.
The main clubbing rooms are situated at the end of the corridor, but I turn left to the toilet to wash my face with fresh water first. I got a little sweaty from all the nervousness.
The men’s restroom is to my right so I get in… and freeze in the middle of the move. Tom is standing right in front of me, washing his hands. He’s staring at himself in the mirror and muttering something under his breath, probably just singing his beloved Sammy tracks.
As he notices he’s not alone any more, he turns around; nods his head in a greeting, then dries his hands and squeezes around me, leaving me totally breathless. I can’t catch my breath for a while.
I realize I should move, because I am still stuck in one place just like a statue. Move one leg, move the other leg… I command my stiff body to move.
He was so close to me and I couldn’t do anything. My love, that’s a horrible torture. Now that I know everything about his feelings, I wanted to swoop down on him, but that could ruin my plans really badly.
I go to the porcelain washbasin and turn on the water. I put the cell phone back in the back pocket of my pants, take off the glasses and wash my face. It was obvious, he didn’t recognize me. When I take a look at myself in the mirror, I don’t wonder why at all. Even I wouldn’t think it was me. This look fits in front of a camp fire in the middle of woods and we were never into stuff like that.
As I turn off the water I take out my mobile phone again, leaving the restroom. The congratulations ceremony was held around eight o’clock, I remember, because the clock was hanging right above Tom’s head as he came closer to me and wanted to hug me. I remembered that time exactly, just as the moment.
So now I have to find my younger me and give him Tom’s letter. I still don’t know how to do it, but how could I plan for that, it all depends of the occasion.
I pass the mirror and continue to the main room, where the party is taking place. I take off my glasses and put them in my pocket as well; they would look too striking. I pull the baseball-cap down even further and head to our improvised casino, the one that Gustav liked so much. With all those players it shouldn’t be too hard to get lost in the crowd. Nobody cares who I am.
But I can’t stop looking around. I know all the faces; I can recognize every one of them. Most of them don’t work for our team anymore, because the fierce pace of the band, especially in the beginning, left a mark on all of them, but we still meet each other sometimes.
Directly in front of me is mom with Gordon, happy as always. I take a glass with a drink a waitress brings on a plate in order to look as though I belong here and get a little closer to them to hear what they are talking about.
Mom is still so beautiful. She leans over to Gordon, unsuccessfully trying to shout over the noise. She’s smiling so adorably. I will try to do everything in my power so that I won’t have to watch her crying over Tom’s grave in seven years from now. Yes, I have decided. Up to this point I still hesitated to do it, but now when I see the happiness in her eyes, it’s clear I have to do it.
Grandpa, I’m sorry, but I have to. May mankind survive my intervention without any harm.
Milá Janulko, já tedy nevím, zda nemám vlastně psát v angličtině. Ale musím ti říct jednu věc. O Časoprostoru jsem slyšela už mnohé, pějí se na něj ódy (a já to právě pochopila) a mě se příběh dotýká. Zatím jej čtu jen v angličtině, sice rozumím, ale musím před tebou smeknout. Ty tedy anglicky pane umíš! Takže mi to nedá a musím probrat archiv. Ani ne tak proto, že bych nechápala, ale spíš, že se nemůžu už dočkat pokračování celého příběhu. Takže… oh, jdu jej vyhledat. A tobě moc děkuji za velice příjemnou lekci angličtiny, takto se učí a zdokonaluje o moc lépe. Byl to od tebe skvělý nápad, který je i velmi užitečný. Já ti osobně děkuji!♥ Jsem nadšená!♥♥♥
[1]:Jáj, Ondi, kéž bych uměla takhle anglicky… prdlačku umím, nic neumím, abych si v angličtině mohla přečíst vlastní příběh, musím na to používat překladač 😀 Opravdu jsem to v angličtině nepsala já, přeložily to pro mě dobré duše Zuzka a Alena jako brigádu, kterým hned na začátku děkuju. :o) Lichotíš mi 😀 ale bohužel, já jsem v angličtině pořád ještě začátečník, což je samozřejmě škoda.
Ale jsem moc ráda, že tě tenhle překlad přiměl najít si český originál, mám radost. :o) Jen pozor, tady jsou první dva díly dohromady, narozdíl od českého originálu, takže teď máš přečtených 6 českých dílů, ne pět. Ale ono to je fuk, tak si pětku přečteš znovu, že jo. 😀 Díky moc za pochvalu, J. :o)
[2]: Janulko, já už si to našla. Když po něčem toužím…tak mě nic nezastaví :-* (teda, pokud vím, že je to možné…) A neboj, tohle jsem pochopila a čtu dál a dál. Tvůj příběh se čte sám. Je… nevím, nedokážu najít ta správná slova, prostě jsi mě svým psaním úplně okouzlila, určitě víš, že málo co mi bere takto dech a tvá povídka se mi tedy hooooodně a ještě více zalíbila♥. Asi je zbytečné ti psát komenty teď, když už není povídka v češtině aktuální. Hned jak dopíšu tento koment, začnu další kapitolu. Prostě miluju příběhy, které jsou dokonale napsané, jsem hodně náročná. Nechápu, nač jsem doteď čekala a sypu si na hlavu popel. Ale zas melu, snad mi to odpustíš. Vlastně jsem jen chtěla říct, že jsi naprosto úžasná jako autor a tvá povídka je opravdovým skvostem… Už teď jsem si ji zamilovala…♥♥♥ A pokaždé, když mě něco tak dostane, děkuju. Takže i tobě, milá Janulko, velmi děkuji za nádherný zážitek. Je úžasné, ponořit se do světa dechberoucí fantazie a vše si s hrdiny příběhu takto prožít. No, jak vidíš, jsem úplně naměkko. Děkujuuuuu ti!♥ Jsi skvělá!♥♥♥
[3]: 😀 Ten popel si hned vyčeš! 😀 Bys vypadala jako kominík. 😀 Díky za chválu, kdyžtak mi napiš něco k poslednímu dílu, ráda se dozvím, jaký to bylo celý. 🙂
Lidi hodně odrazuje délka povídky, ale to jsem holt já, krátký věci prostě psát neumím, a když, tak ještě rovnou ve třech řadách. 😀 Doufám, že si to užiješ. Vím, jak máš ráda Toma, a kdysi jedna úžasná autorka a kamarádka jménem Michelle M. pro tohohle mýho Toma vymyslela speciální termín, a to "Časoprostorový Tom", tak doufám, že se ti bude líbit stejně jako jí. Díky J. :o)
[4]: Janulko, mě rozhodně délka neodradí. Naopak, miluju dlouhé a hlavně promyšlené a propracované povídky. Takže… a víš, co? Až dočtu řadu (jsou 3, že?), dám ti pod tuto anglickou verzi takové malinkaté echo, pokud tě to bude zajímat a jistě napíšu. Už se moc těším… Aaaaaaa jejda, jsem už asi známá svým preferováním Tommyho, co? :-DDDDD No, každý nemusí zbožňovat jen toho mladšího Kaulitze. Mě okouzlila kytara♥, aniž bych věděla, kdo na ni hraje. Ich brech aus a chytila jsem se do sítě. Miluju skvělé kytaristy. A pozor, netušila jsem, jak ten dotyčný vypadá… To jen pro vysvětlení. Časoprostorový Tom – ach, to je naprosto výjimečný a unikátní výraz říkající mnohé. Už jsem s díly dál, takže rozumím. Určitě napíšu pod tvé řady. A jdu zase honem číst. Tohle je tak bezva… úplně jsi mě příběhem pohltila.♥♥♥ A samozřejmě, že si tvůj příběh užiji, je… DOKONALÝ a geniální, jedinečný, musím říct MAGICKÝ. To kouzlo absolutně musí působit na každého čtenáře, který povídku začne číst. Jsi… no prostě výborná!♥