{"id":12455,"date":"2010-02-03T15:30:00","date_gmt":"2010-02-03T14:30:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/twincestblog.cz\/?p=12425"},"modified":"2010-02-03T15:30:00","modified_gmt":"2010-02-03T14:30:00","slug":"in-my-dark-soul","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/twincestblog.cz\/domains\/twincestblog.cz\/2010\/02\/03\/in-my-dark-soul\/","title":{"rendered":"In my dark soul…"},"content":{"rendered":"
autor: Cera<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/div>\n
\"\"<\/div>\n
Rozb\u011bhnout se, vzl\u00e9tnout k oblak\u016fm<\/em><\/div>\n
N\u011bco m\u011b tu svazuje a dr\u017e\u00ed\u2026<\/em><\/div>\n
Ut\u00e9ct, odpoutat se od tebe<\/em><\/div>\n
Odpoutat se od toho, co m\u011b t\u00ed\u017e\u00ed\u2026<\/em><\/div>\n
C\u00edtit volnost\u2026<\/em><\/div>\n
Pro\u010d nemohu\u2026?<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n
Slune\u010dn\u00ed paprsky prot\u00ednaj\u00ed sn\u011bhovou krajku, lehce se sn\u00e1\u0161ej\u00edc\u00ed k zemi, a sna\u017e\u00ed se dotknout m\u00e9 chladn\u00e9 tv\u00e1\u0159e a probudit k \u017eivotu proud slan\u00fdch slz, jen\u017e ledov\u00fd v\u00edtr nechal zmrznout na tv\u00e1\u0159i a prom\u011bnil je v drobn\u00e9 diamanty zdob\u00edc\u00ed tmav\u00e9 \u0159asy, podmalovan\u00e9 \u010dernou konturou. Op\u00edr\u00e1m se o kmen stromu a ti\u0161e pozoruji dlouh\u00e9, \u00fazk\u00e9 v\u011btve, lehce se kol\u00e9baj\u00edc\u00ed ze strany na stranu, jakoby opojen\u00e9 tichou tklivou melodi\u00ed, kter\u00e9 spolu s nimi vn\u00edm\u00e1 pouze m\u00e9 srdce, pla\u0161e bij\u00edc\u00ed do jej\u00edho rytmu.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n
Zd\u00e1lky se ke mn\u011b nese tv\u016fj hrdeln\u00ed sm\u00edch, jeho\u017e ka\u017ed\u00fd t\u00f3n bych nejrad\u011bji zaklel do notov\u00fdch osnov a pe\u010doval o n\u011bj jako o nejvz\u00e1cn\u011bj\u0161\u00ed z poklad\u016f. Anebo tv\u00e9 rty nav\u017edy uml\u010del \u010dern\u00fdm sametov\u00fdm p\u00e1skem a ml\u010dky sledoval, jak v tv\u00fdch bled\u00fdch rtech utich\u00e1 tv\u016fj l\u00edbezn\u00fd hlas, jen\u017e mi za noc\u00ed ned\u00e1v\u00e1 sp\u00e1t, a sl\u00e1bne sv\u011btlo tv\u00fdch \u010dokol\u00e1dov\u00fdch o\u010d\u00ed, pron\u00e1sleduj\u00edc\u00ed m\u011b za dne v my\u0161lenk\u00e1ch kamkoli se hnu.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n
Pros\u00edm, ml\u010d\u2026<\/em><\/div>\n
Chci ztratit se ve v\u011b\u010dnosti ticha\u2026<\/em><\/div>\n
Zapomenout na rty,<\/em><\/div>\n
Je\u017e mi nepat\u0159ily a ani nikdy nebudou\u2026<\/em><\/div>\n
Rty za prahem dosa\u017eitelnosti\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n
Sly\u0161\u00edm tv\u00e9 kroky, je\u017e zanikaj\u00ed v jemn\u00e9m k\u0159up\u00e1n\u00ed b\u00edl\u00e9 pokr\u00fdvky pod tebou. Kone\u010dn\u011b jsi m\u011b na\u0161el, potom, co jsem ti tak zbab\u011ble utekl. Vypt\u00e1v\u00e1\u0161 se, ale j\u00e1 ml\u010d\u00edm, jeliko\u017e nechci zn\u00e1t svou vlastn\u00ed odpov\u011b\u010f. Vy\u010d\u00edt\u00e1\u0161 mi to a s obavami hled\u00ed\u0161 na m\u00e9 \u010dern\u00e9, dlouh\u00e9, ni\u010d\u00edm nechr\u00e1n\u011bn\u00e9 vlaj\u00edc\u00ed vlasy a rud\u00e9 l\u00edce, po kter\u00fdch mi b\u0159\u00ed\u0161ky prst\u016f p\u0159ej\u00ed\u017ed\u00ed v\u00edtr a ani v nejmen\u0161\u00edm mu nevad\u00ed, \u017ee m\u011b sem tam \u0161kr\u00e1bne nehtem.<\/div>\n
A\u010d nechci, v duchu se mus\u00edm melancholicky pousm\u00e1t nad tv\u00fdm monologem a roztomilou starostlivost\u00ed o mou mali\u010dkost.<\/div>\n
Jsi tak rozko\u0161n\u00fd, bl\u00e1z\u00ednku, kdy\u017e m\u00e1\u0161 strach. A tak neskonale hloup\u00fd\u2026 Copak m\u016f\u017eu prochladnout, kdy\u017e m\u00e1 temn\u00e1 du\u0161e, ups\u00e1na zak\u00e1zan\u00e9mu citu, plane \u017e\u00e1rem tak siln\u00fdm, \u017ee zbledla do nejnevinn\u011bj\u0161\u00ed z barev\u2026 B\u00edl\u00e9 jako sn\u00edh\u2026<\/div>\n
\n
Uml\u010det t\u011b v\u00e1\u0161niv\u00fdm polibkem\u2026<\/em><\/div>\n
M\u00e9 zak\u00e1zan\u00e9 l\u00e1sky,<\/em><\/div>\n
zrozen\u00e9 v bezv\u011bt\u0159\u00ed\u2026<\/em><\/div>\n
Derouc\u00ed se na povrch odnikud\u2026<\/em><\/div>\n
L\u00e1sky k Tob\u011b\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n
Sv\u011bt se okolo m\u011b ot\u00e1\u010d\u00ed nadzvukovou rychlost\u00ed a j\u00e1 \u010dek\u00e1m, \u017ee ka\u017edou chv\u00edli vybuchne a j\u00e1 nav\u017edy propadnu nicot\u011b, odsouzen k osam\u011bn\u00ed, bez tebe. Bez sv\u00e9ho star\u0161\u00edho br\u00e1\u0161ky, dvoj\u010dete, kter\u00fd m\u011b od d\u011btstv\u00ed dr\u017e\u00edval za ruku, kdy\u017e jsem se proch\u00e1zel za noci temnotami sv\u00e9ho strachu, a z\u00e1\u0159il jsi mi na cestu jako skoro nez\u0159eteln\u00e1 jisk\u0159i\u010dka sv\u011btla, kter\u00e1 m\u011b jako jedin\u00e1 dok\u00e1zala vyv\u00e9st z chodeb jej\u00edho labyrintu.<\/div>\n
V\u00ed\u0161, \u017ee nem\u00e1m r\u00e1d tmu, jej\u00ed klidnou n\u00e1ru\u010d, do kter\u00e9 se schov\u00e1v\u00e1me, kdy\u017e p\u0159ekra\u010dujeme onu k\u0159ehkou hranici do sv\u011bta na\u0161ich sn\u016f a nejtajn\u011bj\u0161\u00edch p\u0159\u00e1n\u00ed, kde nic nen\u00ed nemo\u017en\u00e9. Proto\u017ee kdy\u017e procitnu, ona krajina zrozena ze st\u00edn\u016f m\u00e9 fantazie se pozvolna rozplyne, a zpoza n\u00ed vykouknou rud\u00e9 paprsky a\u017e p\u0159esp\u0159\u00edli\u0161 krut\u00e9 reality. A tu j\u00e1 nedok\u00e1\u017eu sn\u00e9st. K\u00e9\u017e by \u010das nav\u017edy mezi sv\u00fdmi prsty rozdrtil ten okam\u017eik sv\u00edt\u00e1n\u00ed, kdy se do m\u00e9ho srdce op\u011bt navrac\u00ed bolest, je\u0161t\u011b intenzivn\u011bj\u0161\u00ed ne\u017e kdy d\u0159\u00edv. A j\u00e1 ji tak mohl nen\u00e1vid\u011bt. Pro jej\u00ed bezb\u0159ehou ch\u00e1pavost, pro jej\u00ed neutuchaj\u00edc\u00ed z\u00e1jem, kdy\u017e se j\u00ed zpov\u00edd\u00e1m ze sv\u00e9ho h\u0159\u00edchu, p\u0159ekra\u010duj\u00edc\u00ed snad i mez samotn\u00e9ho pekla.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n
Vl\u00eddn\u00e1 pan\u00ed Noci,<\/em><\/div>\n
J\u00e1 kl\u00e1n\u00edm se p\u0159ed tebou\u2026<\/em><\/div>\n
A pros\u00edm o jedin\u00e9 –<\/em><\/div>\n
Sly\u0161et alespo\u0148 jednou rozho\u0159\u010den\u00e9 v\u00fd\u010ditky<\/em><\/div>\n
P\u0159i m\u00e9 zpov\u011bdi\u2026<\/em><\/div>\n
Poka\u017ed\u00e9 posledn\u00ed\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n
V tv\u00fdch o\u010d\u00edch je zklam\u00e1n\u00ed, vid\u00edm ho, i kdy\u017e se ho sna\u017e\u00ed\u0161 skr\u00fdt. Ale n\u011bco ti pov\u00edm, nejsi moc dobr\u00fd herec\u2026 A j\u00e1 dostate\u010dn\u011b siln\u00fd bojovn\u00edk, abych ti dok\u00e1zal pohl\u00e9dnout zp\u0159\u00edma do o\u010d\u00ed a \u0159\u00edct ti pravdu. \u017de m\u00e1 b\u011blostn\u00e1 p\u00edrka nevinnosti se utrhla pod n\u00e1porem vich\u0159ice a sl\u00e9tla do on\u00e9 slzy \u010dern\u00e9ho inkoustu, kter\u00fd mi uk\u00e1pl na pr\u00e1zdn\u00fd pap\u00edr, o n\u011bkolik m\u00e1lo minut pozd\u011bji zapln\u011bn\u00e9ho m\u00fdmi h\u0159\u00ed\u0161n\u00fdmi my\u0161lenkami onoho kr\u00e1tk\u00e9ho, skoro nez\u0159eteln\u00e9ho okam\u017eiku, kdy jsem na tebe pohl\u00e9dl jinak. Ne tak jako d\u0159\u00edv. Okam\u017eiku, jen\u017e si nav\u017edy na\u0161el m\u00edsto v m\u00fdch vzpom\u00ednk\u00e1ch a j\u00e1 se nedok\u00e1\u017eu vymanit, i p\u0159ese v\u0161echny snahy, z jeho st\u00e1le v\u011bt\u0161\u00ed moci.<\/div>\n
Pt\u00e1\u0161 se, kam jsem se pod\u011bl\u2026<\/div>\n
S\u00e1m nev\u00edm. Jsem vedle tebe, po tv\u00e9m boku, tak jako v\u017edy, ale z\u00e1rove\u0148 stoj\u00edm na d\u0159ev\u011bn\u00e9 b\u00e1rce, pomalu se vzdaluj\u00edc\u00ed od b\u0159ehu, na n\u011bm\u017e stoj\u00ed\u0161. Kdybys i ty, pohl\u00e9dl jin\u00fdma o\u010dima, mo\u017en\u00e1 bys vid\u011bl ty neviditeln\u00e9 slzy, kter\u00e9 t\u011b necht\u011bj\u00ed opustit. P\u0159ej\u00ed si b\u00fdt s tebou, av\u0161ak necht\u011bj\u00ed zatratit tvou du\u0161i. Nem\u00e1m n\u00e1rok kr\u00e1st ti pr\u00e1vo nebes\u2026<\/p>\n<\/div>\n
Pohl\u00e9dnout do zrcadla\u2026<\/em><\/div>\n
Odraz se tolik podob\u00e1 tomu,<\/em><\/div>\n
Jen\u017e do n\u011bj d\u00edv\u00e1 se\u2026<\/em><\/div>\n
Tak stejn\u00fd\u2026<\/em><\/div>\n
Av\u0161ak p\u0159evr\u00e1cen\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n
Tolik bych si p\u0159\u00e1l schoulit se ti v n\u00e1ru\u010d\u00ed. C\u00edtit teplo tv\u00e9ho t\u011bla, je\u017e by rozpustilo onu ledovou sko\u0159\u00e1pku a umo\u017enilo tak volnost plamen\u016fm. Dovolit, aby se m\u00e9 srdce rozpadlo na prach v on\u00e9 posv\u00e1tn\u00e9 chv\u00edli, kdy se jisk\u0159i\u010dka \u0161t\u011bst\u00ed zrod\u00ed v proudu bolesti a n\u00e1sledn\u011b ji uhas\u00ed chladn\u00fd v\u00edtr. \u0160edav\u00fd popel by se roznesl po krajin\u011b a zbarvil by b\u011bloskvouc\u00ed nevinnost \u010dernotou h\u0159\u00edchu.<\/div>\n
K\u00e9\u017e bych nalezl onu doposud skrytou s\u00edlu, je\u017e by m\u011b vytrhla z \u0159et\u011bz\u016f v\u0161ednosti, kdy si s\u00e1m sob\u011b hled\u00edm do o\u010d\u00ed, tou\u017e\u00edc odej\u00edt ze sv\u011bta za zrcadlem a b\u00fdt t\u00edm, k\u00fdm doopravdy jsem. Bez p\u0159etv\u00e1\u0159ky, bez v\u0161ech l\u017e\u00ed, kter\u00e9 m\u011b obklopuj\u00ed. Hoden tv\u00e9 l\u00e1sky. Dokonal\u00fd, stejn\u011b jako ty, bez jak\u00fdchkoliv chyb na kr\u00e1se, je\u017e m\u011b nyn\u00ed hyzd\u00ed v tv\u00fdch sladce \u010dokol\u00e1dov\u00fdch hlubin\u00e1ch.<\/div>\n
Av\u0161ak nav\u017edy s\u00e1m, jeliko\u017e ty nikdy nep\u0159ijme\u0161 mou pravdu, zra\u010d\u00edc\u00ed se v odrazu\u2026<\/p>\n<\/div>\n
Tich\u00fd tv\u016fj krok vp\u0159ed\u2026<\/em><\/div>\n
M\u00e1 mysl nevn\u00edm\u00e1\u2026<\/em><\/div>\n
Jsi ke mn\u011b o tolik bl\u00ed\u017e\u2026<\/em><\/div>\n
Jen nepodlehnout strachu\u2026<\/em><\/div>\n
Poslat t\u011b pry\u010d\u2026<\/em><\/div>\n
Zastav se, pros\u00edm\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n
Hled\u00ed\u0161 na mne, a a\u010d m\u011b to zevnit\u0159 po\u017e\u00edr\u00e1, j\u00e1 se no\u0159\u00edm st\u00e1le hloub a hloub. Jsem tonouc\u00ed, ztracen v tv\u00fdch o\u010d\u00edch. Tv\u00e1 \u00fasta ml\u010d\u00ed, av\u0161ak pohled \u0161ept\u00e1 slova, je\u017e nedok\u00e1\u017eu rozpoznat. Pro\u010d jsou najednou tak jin\u00e9, kam se pod\u011bla lidsk\u00e1 lhostejnost?<\/div>\n
Opatrn\u011b sesb\u00edr\u00e1v\u00e1\u0161 drobn\u00e9 ledov\u00e9 kv\u011bty z m\u00fdch vlas\u016f a uschov\u00e1v\u00e1\u0161 ve sv\u00e9 dlani, kde ti pozvolna uvadaj\u00ed, m\u011bn\u00edc se v kr\u016fp\u011bj vody. Ani jedno jedin\u00e9 b\u011blostn\u00e9 poup\u011b ledov\u00e9 kr\u00e1sy nevydr\u017e\u00ed dostate\u010dn\u011b dlouho, abys ho mohl n\u011bkomu v\u011bnovat.<\/div>\n
Cht\u011bl bych promluvit, zastavit tv\u00e9 po\u010d\u00edn\u00e1n\u00ed, kter\u00e9 m\u011b nut\u00ed podlehnout m\u00e9mu l\u017eiv\u00e9mu p\u0159\u00e1n\u00ed, av\u0161ak nemohu. M\u016fj hlas se vytratil jako zp\u011bv slav\u00edka, uv\u011bzn\u011bn\u00e9ho v ke\u0159i rud\u00fdch r\u016f\u017e\u00ed, za jejich\u017e jedin\u00fd kv\u011bt zaplatil vlastn\u00edm \u017eivotem. B\u0159\u00ed\u0161ky prst\u016f m\u011b lehce hlad\u00ed\u0161 po l\u00edci a j\u00e1 slastn\u011b p\u0159iv\u00edr\u00e1m v\u00ed\u010dka pod jejich doteky. M\u016fj dech se ztr\u00e1c\u00ed n\u011bkde v nicotn\u00e9m nekone\u010dnu mezi n\u00e1mi dv\u011bma a to se pomalu bort\u00ed jako dome\u010dek z karet, \u010d\u00edm bl\u00ed\u017ee jsi k m\u00e9 tv\u00e1\u0159i.<\/div>\n
A jedin\u00e9, co v\u00edm, je, \u017ee a\u017e se za t\u011bch n\u011bkolik m\u00e1lo chvil zastav\u00ed m\u00e9 srdce, budu m\u00edt jistotu, \u017ee jsi m\u011b opravdu pol\u00edbil, a j\u00e1 nesn\u00edm ve sv\u011bt\u011b za zrcadlem\u2026<\/p>\n<\/div>\n
Ve v\u011b\u010dnosti okam\u017eiku\u2026<\/em><\/div>\n
Kdy vlo\u010dka z krajky nebesk\u00e9\u2026<\/em><\/div>\n
Zpomalila sv\u016fj klidn\u00fd p\u00e1d..<\/em><\/div>\n
Ledov\u00e9 sklo rozt\u0159\u00ed\u0161tilo se\u2026<\/em><\/div>\n
Pro spole\u010dn\u00fd sv\u011bt\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n
autor: Cera<\/strong><\/div>\n
betaread: Janule<\/strong><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

autor: Cera Rozb\u011bhnout se, vzl\u00e9tnout k oblak\u016fm N\u011bco m\u011b tu svazuje a dr\u017e\u00ed\u2026 Ut\u00e9ct, odpoutat se od tebe Odpoutat se od toho, co m\u011b t\u00ed\u017e\u00ed\u2026 C\u00edtit volnost\u2026 Pro\u010d nemohu\u2026? Slune\u010dn\u00ed paprsky prot\u00ednaj\u00ed sn\u011bhovou krajku, lehce se sn\u00e1\u0161ej\u00edc\u00ed k zemi, a sna\u017e\u00ed se<\/p>\n

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