{"id":17745,"date":"2008-05-26T16:00:00","date_gmt":"2008-05-26T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/twincestblog.cz\/?p=17706"},"modified":"2008-05-26T16:00:00","modified_gmt":"2008-05-26T15:00:00","slug":"je-cas","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/twincestblog.cz\/domains\/twincestblog.cz\/2008\/05\/26\/je-cas\/","title":{"rendered":"Je \u010das"},"content":{"rendered":"
autor: Licona<\/strong>
betaread: Janule<\/strong><\/div>\n
Tom sa u\u017e dlh\u0161iu dobu nazd\u00e1val, \u017ee ne\u017eije, len pre\u017e\u00edva. Teda, ke\u010f sa rozi\u0161li, bolo mu hrozne zle. Po mesiaci to v\u0161ak tro\u0161ku ust\u00fapilo a za\u010dal sa op\u00e4\u0165 obzera\u0165 po diev\u010dat\u00e1ch, ako pred ich vz\u0165ahom. S jedn\u00fdm diev\u010da\u0165om mal dokonca kr\u00e1tku af\u00e9rku, tak\u017ee sa nazd\u00e1val, \u017ee sa od Billa u\u017e nadobro odp\u00fatal.<\/div>\n
Znovu sa to v\u0161ak zhor\u0161ilo, ke\u010f si Bill niekoho na\u0161iel. Tom bol toho n\u00e1zoru, \u017ee by ho to tak nebolelo, keby ten niekto bol diev\u010da, Bill si ale na\u0161iel chlapca. A odkedy Bill chodil s Frankom, Tom bol na tom tak zle, ako e\u0161te nikdy predt\u00fdm.<\/div>\n
Pripadal si, akoby u\u017e nikdy nemal by\u0165 \u0161\u0165astn\u00fd, akoby pre neho neexistovalo \u017eiadne v\u00fdchodisko. U\u017e to nebol ten bezstarostn\u00fd \u010dlovek ako predt\u00fdm.<\/div>\n
\u010co v\u0161ak bolo najhor\u0161ie, nik nezistil, \u010do sa odohr\u00e1va v jeho vn\u00fatri. A hoci ani predt\u00fdm, ke\u010f ho nie\u010do tr\u00e1pilo, neodhalilo jeho starosti ve\u013ea \u013eud\u00ed, v\u017edy tu bol \u010dlovek, ktor\u00fd bol citliv\u00fd aj na tie najmen\u0161ie zmeny jeho n\u00e1lady. Ten \u010dlovek bol v\u0161ak teraz zaujat\u00fd Frankom. No nieje u\u017e len to meno otrasn\u00e9? Frank … blech…<\/div>\n
Nechcel si to prizna\u0165, ale neuverite\u013ene \u017eiarlil. Ke\u010f videl Billa dot\u00fdka\u0165 sa jeho chlapca tak, ako sa e\u0161te predned\u00e1vnom dot\u00fdkal jeho, chcel zomrie\u0165. Pochopil, \u017ee s Billom to myslel skuto\u010dne v\u00e1\u017ene. A\u017e teraz pochopil, \u017ee Billa miluje…<\/div>\n
\n
„Tom, idem za Frankiem, pr\u00eddem asi a\u017e r\u00e1no,“ Bill nakukol do bratovej izby a za\u0161keril sa na Toma, ktor\u00fd sedel na posteli a nepr\u00edtomn\u00fdm v\u00fdrazom sa pozeral na z\u00e1pad slnka.<\/div>\n
„Dobre. Pozdrav ho,“ povedal Tom a jeho hlas znel napo\u010dudovanie celkom pokojne. Bill sa u\u017e chystal zatvori\u0165 dvere, ale zarazil sa.<\/div>\n
„Tom?“<\/div>\n
„\u00c1no?“ Tom odtrhol o\u010di od tej ohnivej gule, ktor\u00e1 mizla za obzorom.<\/div>\n
„Nie je ti nie\u010do?“ Billove o\u010di sa z\u00fa\u017eili.<\/div>\n
„Nie, ni\u010d mi nie je. Pre\u010do?“ Tomov hlas znel bezstarostne, takmer veselo.<\/div>\n
„Zazdalo sa mi… Ale… Ke\u010f ti ni\u010d nie je, tak…“ \u010diernovlas\u00fd chlapec sa usmial a s vidinou peknej noci opustil bratovu izbu.<\/div>\n
„Nie, ni\u010d mi nie je,“ povedal Tom do ticha izby, „iba si prajem smr\u0165, tak ve\u013emi ma bol\u00ed du\u0161a…“<\/div>\n
Vtedy si Tom predstavil, ak\u00e9 by to bolo na v\u0161etko zabudn\u00fa\u0165. Po smrti ho u\u017e nebude ni\u010d tr\u00e1pi\u0165, nebude musie\u0165 myslie\u0165, ni\u010d ho nebude bolie\u0165…<\/div>\n
V ten okamih sa mu na per\u00e1ch objavil prv\u00fd skuto\u010dn\u00fd \u00fasmev za posledn\u00e9ho pol roka. U\u017e vedel, \u010do mus\u00ed urobi\u0165. Podvedome to vedel u\u017e d\u00e1vno, ale naplno si to uvedomil a\u017e teraz, ke\u010f tu tak sedel a sledoval odch\u00e1dzaj\u00faci de\u0148. Videl v tom ist\u00fa symboliku.<\/div>\n
My\u0161lienka na smr\u0165 ho celkom opantala. Absol\u00fatne ni\u010d ho u\u017e nedr\u017ealo na tejto zemi. Diev\u010dat\u00e1 ho du\u0161evne neuspokojovali, Bill m\u00e1 Franka, priate\u013eov u\u017e nem\u00e1 odkedy sa dozvedeli o vz\u0165ahu jeho a Billa a mamu mal s\u00edce r\u00e1d, ale bola len jedn\u00fdm \u010dlovekom, ktor\u00fd sa o\u0148ho e\u0161te zauj\u00edmal a okrem toho, mala vlastn\u00e9 starosti. Tr\u00e1pil ju najm\u00e4 Bill, ktor\u00fd jej len ned\u00e1vno odhalil svoju orient\u00e1ciu.<\/div>\n
S posledn\u00fdmi mizn\u00facimi l\u00fa\u010dmi svetla sa Tom definit\u00edvne rozhodol.<\/div>\n
ooo<\/div>\n
Bola u\u017e tma, ke\u010f si Tom op\u00e4\u0165 sadol na on\u00fa poste\u013e. Nie\u010do v\u0161ak na posteli pribudlo. To nie\u010do bol nabr\u00fasen\u00fd n\u00f4\u017e – ten najv\u00e4\u010d\u0161\u00ed, ak\u00fd bol schopn\u00fd v dome n\u00e1js\u0165. Pri poh\u013eade na\u0148 sa Tomove k\u00fatiky trhli v n\u00e1znaku \u00fasmevu. Poriadny \u00fasmev si dopraje a\u017e ke\u010f to bude definit\u00edvne.<\/div>\n
E\u0161te mu tu ale nie\u010do ch\u00fdbalo, no ani za ni\u010d si nemohol spomen\u00fa\u0165, \u010do to je. Obzrel sa po izbe, ktor\u00e1 sa str\u00e1cala v tie\u0148och. N\u00e1hle mu zrak padol na iPod na stole. Za\u0161iel po\u0148 a do u\u0161\u00ed si pustil ob\u013e\u00faben\u00fa hudbu. Tak, teraz to bolo spr\u00e1vne.<\/div>\n
Vzal do ruky n\u00f4\u017e a prstom opatrne pre\u0161iel po jeho ostr\u00ed. \u013dahol si a zatvoril o\u010di. Dovolil si posledn\u00e9 min\u00faty str\u00e1vi\u0165 rozm\u00fd\u0161\u013ean\u00edm. Rozm\u00fd\u0161\u013eal nad ich kapelou, nad t\u00fdm, ako ich s Billom jeden koncert dal dohromady, ako im bolo spolu dobre…<\/div>\n
Pesni\u010dka skon\u010dila, bol \u010das…<\/div>\n
Tom odlo\u017eil iPod bokom a do pravej ruky zobral n\u00f4\u017e. Prilo\u017eil si ostrie k z\u00e1p\u00e4stiu a ponoril ho do tela. Vystrekla krv a jeho ruku okam\u017eite ochromila prudk\u00e1 boles\u0165, a\u017e Tomovi do o\u010d\u00ed vyh\u0155kli slzy a mal \u010do robi\u0165, aby nevykr\u00edkol.<\/div>\n
N\u00e1hle v\u0161ak boles\u0165 skoro \u00faplne ustala a Tomovi sa za\u010dali zatv\u00e1ra\u0165 o\u010di. Z posledn\u00fdch s\u00edl, ktor\u00e9 mal v poranenej ruke zobral n\u00f4\u017e a urobil si rez aj na pravom z\u00e1p\u00e4st\u00ed. Hoci tento bol podstatne plyt\u0161\u00ed, strata krvi u\u017e bola obrovsk\u00e1.<\/div>\n
Tomovi sa svet rozpl\u00fdval pred o\u010dami a on sa kone\u010dne usmial.<\/div>\n
Odrazu poc\u00edtil \u013eahkos\u0165 a mal pocit, \u017ee st\u00fapa. Pozrel sa pod seba a uvidel svoje telo le\u017ea\u0165 na krvou prem\u00e1\u010danej posteli. Odvr\u00e1til od neho poh\u013ead a chcel st\u00fapa\u0165 \u010falej ku hviezdam, ale zistil, \u017ee to u\u017e nedok\u00e1\u017ee. A vtedy mu to do\u0161lo. Nie je mu s\u00faden\u00e9 by\u0165 \u0161\u0165astn\u00fd ani po smrti. Je ods\u00faden\u00fd na neust\u00e1le utrpenie na zemi…<\/div>\n
Smr\u0165 nie je vysloboden\u00edm. Vysloboden\u00edm je len L\u00e1ska…<\/p>\n

autor: Licona<\/strong><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

autor: Liconabetaread: Janule Tom sa u\u017e dlh\u0161iu dobu nazd\u00e1val, \u017ee ne\u017eije, len pre\u017e\u00edva. Teda, ke\u010f sa rozi\u0161li, bolo mu hrozne zle. Po mesiaci to v\u0161ak tro\u0161ku ust\u00fapilo a za\u010dal sa op\u00e4\u0165 obzera\u0165 po diev\u010dat\u00e1ch, ako pred ich vz\u0165ahom. S jedn\u00fdm diev\u010da\u0165om mal<\/p>\n

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