{"id":19085,"date":"2008-03-31T19:19:00","date_gmt":"2008-03-31T18:19:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/twincestblog.cz\/?p=19044"},"modified":"2008-03-31T19:19:00","modified_gmt":"2008-03-31T18:19:00","slug":"laska-1-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/twincestblog.cz\/domains\/twincestblog.cz\/2008\/03\/31\/laska-1-2\/","title":{"rendered":"L\u00e1ska? 1."},"content":{"rendered":"<div>Bill na\u0161tvan\u011b vydupal schody a t\u0159\u00edskl dve\u0159mi sv\u00e9ho pokoje. Co si sakra mysl\u00ed? Jak mu to m\u016f\u017ee ud\u011blat? Pro\u010d mu to d\u011bl\u00e1? To byly ot\u00e1zky, kter\u00e9 mu b\u011b\u017eely hlavou celou cestu z jednoho ve\u010d\u00edrku, na kter\u00fd byli donuceni j\u00edt a kter\u00fd opustil hned po tom, co se mu u\u017e pon\u011bkolik\u00e1t\u00e9 zhroutil sv\u011bt. Padl na postel a zoufale se rozplakal. Bylo mu na nic, u\u017e zase, zase se to opakuje. Kdyby nebyl absolutn\u011b na dn\u011b, snad by se s\u00e1m sob\u011b zasm\u00e1l.<\/div>\n<div>Bo\u017ee, jak je naivn\u00ed, co si myslel? Pro\u010d tady bre\u010d\u00ed? Muselo mu to b\u00fdt jasn\u00e9, v\u011bd\u011bl to.<\/div>\n<div>P\u0159esto to znovu risknul. Znovu uv\u011b\u0159il jeho slib\u016fm, zase se nechal p\u0159emluvit. Op\u011bt se k n\u011bmu vr\u00e1til, a op\u011bt se zklamal. Cht\u011blo se mu um\u0159\u00edt. Takov\u00e1 beznad\u011bj, tolik smutku, tolik slz, v\u0161echno to musel za\u017e\u00edvat, zas a znova, po\u0159\u00e1d dokola&#8230;<\/div>\n<div>Nen\u00e1vid\u011bl se za to! Hnusil se s\u00e1m sob\u011b. Ale nemohl si pomoct. Nemohl ukon\u010dit sv\u00e9 utrpen\u00ed. S\u00e1m ne. Mohl to dok\u00e1zat jen jedin\u00fd \u010dlov\u011bk na sv\u011bt\u011b. Jedin\u00fd \u010dlov\u011bk, kter\u00e9ho miloval cel\u00fdm sv\u00fdm srdcem, pro kter\u00e9ho by dal i \u017eivot, pro kter\u00e9ho by ud\u011blal i nemo\u017en\u00e9&#8230; Jedin\u00fd \u010dlov\u011bk, kter\u00e9ho kdy doopravdy miloval. A miloval ho stra\u0161n\u011b moc, tak moc, \u017ee mu odpustil v\u017edycky naprosto v\u0161echno.<\/div>\n<div>A\u0165 ud\u011blal cokoli, co ho ranilo sebev\u00edc, v\u017edy ho dok\u00e1zal omluvit. V\u017edy mu dok\u00e1zal odpustit, v\u017edy mu zase uv\u011b\u0159il, v\u017edy mu zase nalet\u011bl&#8230; Nebylo nic, co by ho v jeho o\u010d\u00edch po\u0161pinilo, nic pro\u010d by ho opustil, nic pro\u010d by ho p\u0159estal milovat.<\/div>\n<div>A kdy\u017e u\u017e ho omluvit nedok\u00e1zal, nalh\u00e1val si, \u017ee mu to nevad\u00ed&#8230;<\/div>\n<div>Ale vadilo mu to, hrozn\u011b mu to vadilo. P\u0159\u00edmo ho to s\u017e\u00edralo, zab\u00edjelo. Um\u00edral, um\u00edral za\u017eiva a p\u0159i pln\u00e9m v\u011bdom\u00ed, \u017ee si za to m\u016f\u017ee s\u00e1m&#8230; Jen\u017ee on to nedok\u00e1zal, nedok\u00e1zal ho opustit, nedok\u00e1zal se od n\u011bj odlou\u010dit. Miloval ho tak moc, p\u0159\u00edmo ho zbo\u017e\u0148oval. Nedok\u00e1zal si p\u0159edstavit \u017eivot bez n\u011bj, to rad\u0161i s n\u00edm a v neuv\u011b\u0159iteln\u00e9m utrpen\u00ed, ne\u017e bez n\u011bj.<\/div>\n<div>I kdy\u017e mu neust\u00e1le ubli\u017eoval, byl smyslem jeho \u017eivota&#8230; V\u0161echno co d\u011blal, d\u011blal pro n\u011bj nebo kv\u016fli n\u011bmu, nedok\u00e1zal myslet na nic jin\u00fdho, byl jako posedl\u00fd, posedl\u00fd sv\u00fdm bratrem.<\/div>\n<div>Jen\u017ee tady byl asi jedin\u00fd. N\u011bkdy pochyboval, zda ho bratr v\u016fbec miluje, nebo jestli si s n\u00edm jen tak zahr\u00e1v\u00e1&#8230; Ale i kdyby si zahr\u00e1val, p\u0159e\u0161el by to bez pov\u0161imnut\u00ed, hlavn\u011b \u017ee m\u016f\u017ee b\u00fdt s n\u00edm. Cht\u011bl se od n\u011bj odpoutat, za\u010d\u00edt zase norm\u00e1ln\u011b \u017e\u00edt, ale nemohl &#8211; nedok\u00e1zal to. Zkou\u0161el to u\u017e tolikr\u00e1t. Tolikr\u00e1t ho opustil, ukon\u010dil jejich v\u00edce ne\u017e bratrsk\u00fd vztah, ale za nedlouho se k n\u011bmu op\u011bt vr\u00e1til. Aby to za\u010dalo nanovo, aby znovu trp\u011bl.<\/div>\n<div>Tenhle koloto\u010d se to\u010dil po\u0159\u00e1d dokola a nikdy se nezastavil. A on doufal, \u017ee nikdy nezastav\u00ed.<\/div>\n<div>Cht\u011bl se od n\u011bj odpoutat, ale nedok\u00e1zal si p\u0159edstavit, co by bez n\u011bj d\u011blal. Jak by \u017eil. U\u017e nebylo cesty zp\u011bt&#8230; Musel pokra\u010dovat! Nemohl to p\u0159eru\u0161it. Nedok\u00e1zal, necht\u011bl&#8230; U\u017e ani neplakal, jen le\u017eel a p\u0159ehr\u00e1val si sv\u016fj \u017eivot s n\u00edm, v\u017edycky s n\u00edm. Nebyla vzpom\u00ednka, kde by nebyl. U\u017e jako mal\u00ed na sebe byli stra\u0161n\u011b fixovan\u00ed. Nen\u00ed divu, v\u017edy\u0165 byli dvoj\u010data. V\u017edycky byli spolu, jeden bez druh\u00e9ho neud\u011blali ani krok.<\/div>\n<div>A pak to p\u0159i\u0161lo. Z ni\u010deho nic u\u017e ho nevn\u00edmal jen jako sv\u00e9 dvoj\u010de. Nem\u011bl ho jen r\u00e1d, miloval ho.<\/div>\n<div>Prvn\u00ed si to necht\u011bl p\u0159iznat. Styd\u011bl se za to, ale kdy\u017e m\u011bs\u00edce plynuly a jeho l\u00e1ska byla \u010d\u00edm d\u00e1l t\u00edm siln\u011bj\u0161\u00ed, rozhodl se s t\u00edm n\u011bco d\u011blat. Rozhodl se mu to na rovinu \u0159\u00edct. Byl si t\u00e9m\u011b\u0159 jist\u00fd, \u017ee ho odsoud\u00ed, \u017ee se mu vysm\u011bje, \u017ee mu bude odporn\u00fd&#8230; Ale ani v nejskryt\u011bj\u0161\u00edch snech by ho nenapadlo, \u017ee jeho l\u00e1sku op\u011btuje.<\/div>\n<div>Tenkr\u00e1t byl stra\u0161n\u011b \u0161\u0165astn\u00fd, tak \u0161\u0165astn\u00fd jako nikdy nebyl a ji\u017e nikdy nebude&#8230; Nemohl b\u00fdt, ne kdy\u017e s t\u00edm n\u011bco neud\u011bl\u00e1 a on v\u011bd\u011bl, \u017ee neud\u011bl\u00e1&#8230; Nejsp\u00ed\u0161 mu bylo souzeno, aby byl ne\u0161\u0165astn\u00fd, aby se st\u00e1le jen tr\u00e1pil&#8230; Smutn\u011b, ale sm\u00ed\u0159en\u011b p\u0159em\u00fd\u0161lel nad sv\u00fdm \u017eivotem, nad t\u00edm co mu bylo souzeno, a st\u00e1le dokola si opakoval, \u017ee mu to nevad\u00ed, \u017ee to jednou p\u0159estane.<\/div>\n<div>Ani trochu tomu nev\u011b\u0159il, ale pot\u0159eboval se n\u011bjak uklidnit, m\u00edt n\u011bjakou jistotu.<\/div>\n<div>Byl vy\u010derpan\u00fd. Nep\u0159\u00e1l si nic v\u00edc ne\u017e usnout, aspo\u0148 na chv\u00edli se odpoutat od sv\u00fdch starost\u00ed, na chv\u00edli sn\u00edt sv\u016fj sen, kter\u00fd byl jen jeho a nikdo mu ho nemohl vz\u00edt. Doufal, \u017ee se mu to poda\u0159\u00ed. M\u011bl \u0161t\u011bst\u00ed, za chv\u00edli se mu u\u017e zd\u00e1l kr\u00e1sn\u00fd sen, kr\u00e1sn\u00fd a n\u00e1dhern\u00fd, kter\u00fd aspo\u0148 na chv\u00edli dok\u00e1zal vyloudit na jeho smysln\u00fdch rtech n\u00e1znak \u00fasm\u011bvu&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>autor: <strong>Prinzesschen<\/strong><br \/>betaread: <strong>Janule<\/strong><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Bill na\u0161tvan\u011b vydupal schody a t\u0159\u00edskl dve\u0159mi sv\u00e9ho pokoje. Co si sakra mysl\u00ed? Jak mu to m\u016f\u017ee ud\u011blat? Pro\u010d mu to d\u011bl\u00e1? To byly ot\u00e1zky, kter\u00e9 mu b\u011b\u017eely hlavou celou cestu z jednoho ve\u010d\u00edrku, na kter\u00fd byli donuceni j\u00edt a kter\u00fd opustil<\/p>\n<p class=\"link-more\"><a class=\"myButt \" href=\"https:\/\/twincestblog.cz\/domains\/twincestblog.cz\/2008\/03\/31\/laska-1-2\/\">Read More<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[92],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-19085","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-laska"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/twincestblog.cz\/domains\/twincestblog.cz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19085","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/twincestblog.cz\/domains\/twincestblog.cz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/twincestblog.cz\/domains\/twincestblog.cz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/twincestblog.cz\/domains\/twincestblog.cz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/twincestblog.cz\/domains\/twincestblog.cz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=19085"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/twincestblog.cz\/domains\/twincestblog.cz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19085\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/twincestblog.cz\/domains\/twincestblog.cz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=19085"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/twincestblog.cz\/domains\/twincestblog.cz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=19085"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/twincestblog.cz\/domains\/twincestblog.cz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=19085"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}