{"id":19166,"date":"2008-03-29T14:37:00","date_gmt":"2008-03-29T13:37:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/twincestblog.cz\/?p=19125"},"modified":"2008-03-29T14:37:00","modified_gmt":"2008-03-29T13:37:00","slug":"if-you-want-me-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/twincestblog.cz\/domains\/twincestblog.cz\/2008\/03\/29\/if-you-want-me-2\/","title":{"rendered":"If you want me&#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"<div>Zmaten\u011b se rozhl\u00e9dl po pokoji&#8230;<\/div>\n<div>Ach ano&#8230; n\u011bco hledal. Ale <em>co<\/em> jen to bylo?<\/div>\n<div>Chv\u00edli je\u0161t\u011b st\u00e1l a rozhl\u00ed\u017eel se po ztemn\u011bl\u00e9m pokoji, ne\u017e sv\u00e9 t\u011blo uvedl rozhodn\u011b do pohybu. Zam\u00ed\u0159il k velk\u00e9 sk\u0159\u00edni v rohu, ze kter\u00e9 vydoloval lepenkovou krabici, nacpanou mno\u017estv\u00edm v\u0161elijak\u00fdch v\u011bc\u00ed.<\/div>\n<div>&#8218;<em>To<\/em> je ono,&#8216; usm\u00e1l se, kdy\u017e ve \u0161t\u00edhl\u00fdch prstech sev\u0159el \u010dernou v\u011bc.<\/div>\n<div>U\u017e se nemohl do\u010dkat, a\u017e si kazetu pust\u00ed. Jejich <em>p\u00e1t\u00e9<\/em> narozeniny. Jak jen ten \u010das let\u00ed.<\/div>\n<div>Vlastn\u011b ani nev\u011bd\u011bl, co od toho o\u010dek\u00e1v\u00e1. Snad n\u011bjakou zm\u011bnu, zlom. Snad doufal v to, \u017ee kdy\u017e si p\u0159ipomene, jak\u00e9 to bylo, kdy\u017e se na n\u011bj d\u00edval pouze jako na bratra, dok\u00e1\u017ee to je\u0161t\u011b vz\u00edt zp\u011bt. Ale&#8230; nem\u011bl pon\u011bt\u00ed, jestli to potom nebude je\u0161t\u011b hor\u0161\u00ed.<\/div>\n<div>U\u017e si nevzpom\u00ednal, kdy p\u0159esn\u011b se na n\u011bj za\u010dal d\u00edvat jinak. Kdy p\u0159esn\u011b ho za\u010dal br\u00e1t jako objekt sv\u00e9 touhy, jako \u010dlov\u011bka, kter\u00e9ho je schopen milovat. Snad to trvalo zat\u00edm jen chv\u00edli.<\/div>\n<div>I kdy\u017e&#8230; jak se to vezme. Pro toho, jemu\u017e na \u010dase z\u00e1le\u017e\u00ed pram\u00e1lo, to mo\u017en\u00e1 chv\u00edle byla. Ale pro n\u011bj, pro kter\u00e9ho byl \u010das obrovskou vz\u00e1cnost\u00ed a nejv\u011bt\u0161\u00edm m\u011b\u0159\u00edtkem, to byla nekone\u010dn\u011b dlouh\u00e1 doba.<\/div>\n<div>P\u0159esto se mu prozat\u00edm poda\u0159ilo tomu nepropadnout. Ne \u00fapln\u011b. Sic u\u017e m\u011bl nam\u00e1le, ale je\u0161t\u011b st\u00e1le dok\u00e1zal dr\u017eet sv\u00e9 emoce na uzd\u011b a re\u00e1ln\u011b uva\u017eovat.<\/div>\n<div>Na druhou stranu, ale ani to, \u017ee se obezn\u00e1mil a neust\u00e1le si v\u0161t\u011bpoval v\u0161echny argumenty, kter\u00e9 v\u00edce ne\u017e jasn\u011b hr\u00e1ly proti n\u011bmu, to, \u017ee je to jeho bratr, \u017ee je to zak\u00e1zan\u00e9 a proti p\u0159\u00edrod\u011b, na n\u011bj ani zdaleka nedok\u00e1zaly zap\u016fsobit jako bratrovy o\u010di.<\/div>\n<div>Ten pocit jej d\u011bsil a z\u00e1rove\u0148 p\u0159iv\u00e1d\u011bl k nep\u0159\u00ed\u010detnosti. To, \u017ee nem\u00e1 situaci pod kontrolou, \u017ee v\u0161e nen\u00ed v jeho rukou, jej deptalo.<\/div>\n<div>Byla to snad <em>opravdov\u00e1 l\u00e1ska<\/em>? \u010casto ta slova pron\u00e1\u0161el, nejednou bojoval jejich prost\u0159ednictv\u00edm, ale najednou si nebyl jist. Jedin\u00e9, co v\u011bd\u011bl bylo to, \u017ee je to siln\u00e9. Siln\u011bj\u0161\u00ed ne\u017e v\u016fbec je\u0161t\u011b m\u016f\u017ee sn\u00e9st. Je a\u017e neuv\u011b\u0159iteln\u00e9\u00a8, kolik zmatku \u010dlov\u011bk m\u016f\u017ee v du\u0161i nosit.<\/div>\n<div>Tok jeho my\u0161lenek vyru\u0161il hlas a ruka, kter\u00e1 mu jemn\u011b spo\u010dinula na rameni.<\/div>\n<div>&#8222;Ach&#8230; tak tady jsi. Hledal jsem T\u011b, Bille.&#8220; Nelekl se. P\u0159esto se mu tep okam\u017eit\u011b zrychlil. Tom se s \u00falevn\u00fdm vydechnut\u00edm sesunul na postel a up\u0159el na n\u011bj pohled.<\/div>\n<div>Ani v nejmen\u0161\u00edm mu nehodlal vy\u010d\u00edtat, \u017ee je v jeho pokoji a \u017ee se mu prohraboval ve v\u011bcech. On jedin\u00fd na to m\u011bl pr\u00e1vo. Proto\u017ee p\u0159ed <em>n\u00edm<\/em> nem\u011bl \u017e\u00e1dn\u00e1 tajemstv\u00ed. Nic, co by musel skr\u00fdvat.<\/div>\n<div>&#8222;J\u00e9&#8230; co to m\u00e1\u0161?&#8220; ulp\u011bl \u010dokol\u00e1dov\u00fdma o\u010dima na kazet\u011b.<\/div>\n<div>&#8222;Na\u0161e p\u00e1t\u00e9 narozeniny,&#8220; odpov\u011bd\u011bl st\u00e1le je\u0161t\u011b trochu zamy\u0161len\u011b Bill.<\/div>\n<div>&#8222;To chci taky vid\u011bt! M\u016f\u017ee se koukat s tebou?&#8220; nadchnul se hned chlapec, rozvalen\u00fd v pe\u0159in\u00e1ch. Bill v prvn\u00ed chv\u00edli potla\u010dil nutk\u00e1n\u00ed taktn\u011b jej odm\u00edtnout. P\u0159eci jen&#8230; netu\u0161il, co to s n\u00edm ud\u011bl\u00e1 a p\u016fvodn\u011b m\u011bl v pl\u00e1nu se na to pod\u00edvat s\u00e1m. V klidu. Ale konec konc\u016f&#8230;<\/div>\n<div>&#8222;Jasn\u011b&#8230; Tak poj\u010f. Pust\u00edme si to dole,&#8220; p\u0159ik\u00fdvl a nepatrn\u011b se usm\u00e1l.<\/div>\n<div>Kdy\u017e rozt\u0159esen\u00fdmi prsty bral do rukou ovlada\u010d a stisknul tla\u010d\u00edtko Play, rozm\u00fd\u0161lel se, jestli p\u0159ece jen ud\u011blal dob\u0159e. No\u2026 ale te\u010f u\u017e bylo pozd\u011b, aby ho od sebe odh\u00e1n\u011bl. Usadil se vedle bratra na b\u00edlou pohovku a pohledem se zap\u00edchl do obrazovky. Docela se t\u011b\u0161il.<\/div>\n<div>Oba dva sed\u011bli t\u00e9m\u011b\u0159 bez dechu a pozorovali z\u00e1znam. Bylo to, jako by se vr\u00e1tili v \u010dase.<\/div>\n<div>&#8222;Cht\u011bl bych to vr\u00e1tit&#8230;&#8220; za\u0161eptal \u010dernovlas\u00fd mlad\u00edk a st\u00e1le up\u00edral pohled na obrazovku. Vyvolalo to v n\u011bm siln\u00e9 vzpom\u00ednky a neuv\u011b\u0159itelnou melancholii. C\u00edtil se zahnan\u00fd do kouta.<\/div>\n<div>&#8222;Pro\u010d?&#8220; jednoduch\u00e1 ot\u00e1zka. Chlapec s dredy se up\u0159en\u011b zad\u00edval do tv\u00e1\u0159e sv\u00e9ho dvoj\u010dete.<\/div>\n<div>&#8222;V\u0161echno bylo jednoduch\u00e9,&#8220; nakonec zavrhl odpov\u011b\u010f: <em>Proto\u017ee to jsem T\u011b je\u0161t\u011b nemiloval.<\/em><\/div>\n<div>&#8222;Co jsi cht\u011bl ud\u011blat &#8211; to jsi ud\u011blal. Co jsi cht\u011bl \u0159\u00edct &#8211; to jsi \u0159ekl.&#8220;<\/div>\n<div>&#8222;A te\u010f nem\u016f\u017ee\u0161?&#8220; pohodil Tom nech\u00e1pav\u011b hlavou.<\/div>\n<div>&#8222;M\u016f\u017eu&#8230; ale boj\u00edm se,&#8220; hlesl Bill.<\/div>\n<div>&#8222;\u010ceho?&#8220;<\/div>\n<div>&#8222;N\u00e1sledk\u016f&#8230; \u017ee kdy\u017e ud\u011bl\u00e1m to, co chci, tak u\u017e to pak nebudu moct vz\u00edt zp\u00e1tky.&#8220;<\/div>\n<div>&#8222;Pokud chce\u0161 n\u011bco ud\u011blat, pro\u010d bys to pak m\u011bl br\u00e1t zp\u00e1tky?&#8220;<\/div>\n<div>&#8222;T\u0159eba proto, \u017ee to m\u016f\u017ee n\u011bkomu ubl\u00ed\u017eit&#8230;&#8220; <em>Tolik<\/em> tou\u017eil&#8230;<\/div>\n<div>&#8222;Nem\u00e1\u0161 n\u00e1hodou \u017eivotn\u00ed motto &#8211; Leb die Sekunde? Nic Ti nebr\u00e1n\u00ed. Br\u00e1n\u00ed\u0161 si s\u00e1m&#8230;&#8220; zavrhl jeho \u00favahy Tom.<\/div>\n<div>Vlastn\u011b m\u011bl pravdu. Nebr\u00e1nilo mu nic. Nic, krom\u011b jeho sv\u011bdom\u00ed. Ale k \u010dertu s n\u00edm! Poslouchal ho u\u017e dlouho!<\/div>\n<div>Ne\u017e se sta\u010dil zastavit, obj\u00edmal bratra kolem krku a \u017e\u00e1dostiv\u011b se mu vp\u00edjel do rt\u016f. Nemyslel. Nep\u0159em\u00fd\u0161lel nad n\u00e1sledky, nad budoucnost\u00ed. \u017dil pro ten jedine\u010dn\u00fd a neopakovateln\u00fd okam\u017eik &#8211; tak jak si to vysnil. Nez\u00e1le\u017eelo na tom, co bylo p\u0159edt\u00edm, nebo na tom, co bude potom. Nez\u00e1le\u017eelo u\u017e v\u016fbec na ni\u010dem&#8230;.<\/p>\n<p>autor: <strong>Lisa<\/strong><br \/>betaread: <strong>Janule<\/strong><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Zmaten\u011b se rozhl\u00e9dl po pokoji&#8230; Ach ano&#8230; n\u011bco hledal. Ale co jen to bylo? Chv\u00edli je\u0161t\u011b st\u00e1l a rozhl\u00ed\u017eel se po ztemn\u011bl\u00e9m pokoji, ne\u017e sv\u00e9 t\u011blo uvedl rozhodn\u011b do pohybu. Zam\u00ed\u0159il k velk\u00e9 sk\u0159\u00edni v rohu, ze kter\u00e9 vydoloval lepenkovou krabici, nacpanou<\/p>\n<p class=\"link-more\"><a class=\"myButt \" href=\"https:\/\/twincestblog.cz\/domains\/twincestblog.cz\/2008\/03\/29\/if-you-want-me-2\/\">Read More<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[45],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-19166","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-ff-jednodilky"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/twincestblog.cz\/domains\/twincestblog.cz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19166","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/twincestblog.cz\/domains\/twincestblog.cz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/twincestblog.cz\/domains\/twincestblog.cz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/twincestblog.cz\/domains\/twincestblog.cz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/twincestblog.cz\/domains\/twincestblog.cz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=19166"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/twincestblog.cz\/domains\/twincestblog.cz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19166\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/twincestblog.cz\/domains\/twincestblog.cz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=19166"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/twincestblog.cz\/domains\/twincestblog.cz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=19166"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/twincestblog.cz\/domains\/twincestblog.cz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=19166"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}