{"id":19299,"date":"2008-03-24T09:24:00","date_gmt":"2008-03-24T08:24:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/twincestblog.cz\/?p=19258"},"modified":"2008-03-24T09:24:00","modified_gmt":"2008-03-24T08:24:00","slug":"never-again","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/twincestblog.cz\/domains\/twincestblog.cz\/2008\/03\/24\/never-again\/","title":{"rendered":"Never again"},"content":{"rendered":"
I hope the ring you gave to her
Turns her finger green.
I hope when you’re in bed with her,
You think of me.
<\/em><\/div>\n
Tom sa vzru\u0161en\u00edm prehol v chrbte a silno sa striasol. Na \u010delo mu vyst\u00fapili kropaje potu. V dlani zvieral bielu sat\u00e9nov\u00fa oblie\u010dku, zanech\u00e1vaj\u00fac na nej nenapravite\u013en\u00e9 stopy. Silou hmatu sa sna\u017eil vykompenzova\u0165 svoju t\u00fa\u017ebu.<\/div>\n
„Bill!“ vykr\u00edkol vo chv\u00edle vyvrcholenia.<\/div>\n
Vz\u00e1p\u00e4t\u00ed cel\u00fd stuhol a \u0161okovane vyd\u00fdchol. Pre\u010do? Pre\u010do vol\u00e1 jeho meno? Bolo to u\u017e predsa tak d\u00e1vno. A on zabudol. Alebo nie?<\/div>\n
Poh\u013ead namieren\u00fd do svojho lona ho presved\u010dil o tom, \u017ee diev\u010da, ktor\u00e9 ho fyzicky uspokojilo, po\u010dulo jeho volanie. A pochopilo, \u017ee to nebola ona, kto bol stredobodom jeho predst\u00e1v. \u017de ona len spravila robotu za niekoho in\u00e9ho. Niekoho, komu patrila Tomova myse\u013e i du\u0161a.<\/div>\n
Bez slova sa zdvihla a nechala zm\u00e4ten\u00e9ho, polonah\u00e9ho chlapca le\u017ea\u0165 bezmocne na posteli. Nemienila hra\u0165 druh\u00e9 husle, to v \u017eiadnom pr\u00edpade…<\/div>\n
Bill sa potichu zasmial, ke\u010f diev\u010da opustilo bratovu izbu. Vz\u00e1p\u00e4t\u00ed sa aj on vytratil zo svojej skr\u00fd\u0161e za bratovou skri\u0148ou a dverami, ktor\u00e9 sp\u00e1jali jeho izbu s bratovou, vyk\u013azol von. Videl dos\u0165.<\/div>\n
I would never wish bad things,
But I don’t wish you well.
Could you tell?
By the flames that burned your words,
I never read your letter
Cause I knew what you’d say.
Give me that Sunday school answer.
Try to make it all okay.<\/em><\/div>\n
Nebolo to a\u017e tak d\u00e1vno, ako si Tom navr\u00e1val. Nie. Bolo to len zop\u00e1r t\u00fd\u017ed\u0148ov dozadu. \u0160tyri, najviac p\u00e4\u0165. Jedin\u00fd mesiac. Pre\u010do sa to Tomovi zdalo u\u017e ako cel\u00e1 ve\u010dnos\u0165?! Mo\u017eno preto, \u017ee odkedy to s bratom ukon\u010dil, op\u00e4\u0165 \u017eil svoj\u00edm star\u00fdm sp\u00f4sobom \u017eivota. Z d\u0148a na de\u0148. Z hodiny na hodinu. Z min\u00faty na min\u00fatu. Tak, ako sa mu podarilo. Menil diev\u010dat\u00e1, kedyko\u013evek mohol. Bolo to ako \u0161ialenstvo, ktor\u00e9 ho zase dostihlo. U\u017e raz sa mu v\u010faka bratovi vymanil. Ale teraz, zase, bolo to sp\u00e4\u0165. U\u017e d\u00e1vno pochopil, \u017ee nikto okrem brata ho neup\u00fata nato\u013eko, aby s n\u00edm str\u00e1cal svoj drahocenn\u00fd \u010das. Tak pre\u010do tak ve\u013emi chcel koniec? Smutn\u00fd koniec zak\u00e1zanej l\u00e1sky? Pre\u010do?<\/div>\n
C\u00edtil sa ohrozen\u00fd. Zajat\u00fd. Zajat\u00fd svojimi vlastn\u00fdmi citmi. Svojou l\u00e1skou. \u0160alel z toho, \u017ee brat bol jedin\u00fd, na koho dok\u00e1zal cel\u00e9 hodiny myslie\u0165. Nespal, nejedol, nehral. Len… len dr\u017eal Billa v n\u00e1ru\u010d\u00ed a \u0161epkal mu sladk\u00e9 slov\u00e1 l\u00e1sky. Ale jemu to vtedy sta\u010dilo. Alebo nie?<\/div>\n
Billovi trvalo dlho, k\u00fdm sa z toho dostal. T\u00fd\u017edne, sn\u00e1\u010f i necel\u00fd mesiac. K\u00fdm pochopil a pok\u00fasil sa zabudn\u00fa\u0165. Pochopil, \u017ee Tom mu za to\u013eko tr\u00e1penia nestoj\u00ed. Ani Tom. Nikto mu nestoj\u00ed za to, aby s\u00e1m sebe \u0161kodil. Ohrozoval svoj \u017eivot. Schudol neskuto\u010dn\u00fdch sedem k\u00edl. Bol v kritickom ohrozen\u00ed a on to vedel. Dok\u00e1zal odpusti\u0165? Nie. Ale dok\u00e1zal \u017ei\u0165 \u010falej. \u017di\u0165 s my\u0161lienkou na to, \u017ee ni\u010d nie je straten\u00e9. \u017de on dok\u00e1\u017ee brata presved\u010di\u0165 o tom, \u017ee nikto nebude tak\u00fd dobr\u00fd ako on. Ako jeho brat. Bill.<\/div>\n
Trvalo mu \u010fal\u0161ie tri dni, aby pochopil – definit\u00edvne a nezvratne – \u017ee Tom svoje rozhodnutie nezmen\u00ed. \u017de Billa nevezme sp\u00e4\u0165 do svojho objatia a nepovie, \u017ee to bola chyba. Hl\u00fapa absurdn\u00e1 chyba. Pochopil. A rozhodol sa. Pre\u010do by mal by\u0165 jedin\u00fd, kto bude trpie\u0165? Nie! Nie! NIE! Odmieta. Tom bude trpie\u0165 viac. Omnoho viac. Cel\u00fdm svoj\u00edm telom a du\u0161ou<\/em>. Sta\u010dila hodina. Jedin\u00e1 hodina na to, aby vymyslel pl\u00e1n ako Toma potresta\u0165. A sta\u010dilo mu len \u010fal\u0161\u00edch tridsa\u0165osem hod\u00edn na to, aby uvidel to, \u010do dovtedy nevidel. Aby uvidel, \u017ee Tom trp\u00ed. \u017de trp\u00ed omnoho viac ako on s\u00e1m. A \u017ee Tom bude trpie\u0165 nav\u017edy. Preto\u017ee vie, \u017ee to v\u0161etko skon\u010dil on. Bolo to jeho rozhodnutie. Jeho…<\/div>\n
Does it hurt to know I’ll never be there?
Bet it sucks to see my face everywhere.
It was you who chose to end it like you did.
I was the last to know
You knew exactly what you would do
Don’t say you simply lost your way
She may believe you
But I never will
Never again<\/em><\/div>\n
„Veronica,“ za\u0161epkal Tom s \u00fasmevom na per\u00e1ch. Pribl\u00ed\u017eil sa o nieko\u013eko milimetrov ku svojej novej priate\u013eke a prstom je pre\u0161iel po pehavom l\u00edci. Bola n\u00e1dhern\u00e1. Rozpr\u00e1vkov\u00e1. Neskuto\u010dn\u00e1.<\/div>\n
A on bol zamilovan\u00fd.<\/div>\n
Skuto\u010dne? D\u00e1 sa o l\u00e1ske v jeho pr\u00edpade v\u00f4bec rozpr\u00e1va\u0165? D\u00e1 sa jeho c\u00edtenie prirovn\u00e1va\u0165 k priemern\u00e9ho emocion\u00e1lnemu \u010dloveku? Je v\u00f4bec mo\u017en\u00e9, \u017ee by on – Tom Kaulitz – dok\u00e1zal op\u00e4tova\u0165 nejak\u00e9 diev\u010densk\u00e9 city?<\/div>\n
Je v\u00e1\u017ene mo\u017en\u00e9, \u017ee by sa v jeho \u017eivote objavil niekto, okrem Billa, koho by nechcel len jednoducho vyu\u017ei\u0165 na prvej lavi\u010dke v parku a potom odkopn\u00fa\u0165? Je to mo\u017en\u00e9? Ale \u010do in\u00e9 by jeho b\u00fa\u0161enie srdca, kedyko\u013evek sa to prekliate diev\u010da pribl\u00ed\u017ei, znamenalo? Jeho zr\u00fdchlen\u00fd dych, kedyko\u013evek za\u017emurk\u00e1. Jeho tras v ruk\u00e1ch a slabos\u0165 v noh\u00e1ch. Nedostatok slov, strata re\u010di v jej bl\u00edzkosti. Bo\u017ee. Nie\u010do tak\u00e9 dok\u00e1zal len Bill. Jeho Bill…<\/div>\n
„Nechce\u0161 nie\u010do na pitie?“ op\u00fdtal sa ne\u017ene, pohladiac ju po odhalenom ramene.<\/div>\n
Pousmiala sa nad jeho ne\u017enos\u0165ou. Preto\u010dila sa na deke na bok a podoprela si hlavu rukou. Pr\u00e1ve le\u017eali v z\u00e1hrade Tomov\u00fdch rodi\u010dov. Ukryt\u00fd medzi stromami a kvetmi. Ukryt\u00fd pred slne\u010dn\u00fdmi l\u00fa\u010dmi, svetom i sebou sam\u00fdmi. V ich vz\u0165ahu bola e\u0161te st\u00e1le ist\u00e1 nesmelos\u0165. Nesmelos\u0165, ktor\u00fa Tom e\u0161te nikdy neza\u017eil. Ale p\u00e1\u010dil sa mu ten pocit nap\u00e4tia zo v\u0161etk\u00e9ho, \u010do spravia.<\/div>\n
„Celkom \u00e1no,“ za\u0161epkala, navlh\u010diac si pery jazykom.<\/div>\n
Hlasno preglgol. B\u00e1l sa. Dotyku, pohladenia, poh\u013eadu, vety. V\u0161etk\u00e9ho. Ni\u010d nechcel pokazi\u0165. Bolo to zvl\u00e1\u0161tne. Ale pekne zvl\u00e1\u0161tne, to musel uzna\u0165. Skuto\u010dne sa takto c\u00edtia \u013eudia, ke\u010f s\u00fa zamilovan\u00ed?<\/div>\n
S polo\u00fasmevom sa vy\u0161tveral na nohy a s tich\u00fdm „Hne\u010f som sp\u00e4\u0165“, odi\u0161iel do domu.<\/div>\n
If she really knows the truth,
She deserves you.
A trophy wife, oh how cute.
Ignorance is bliss.
But when your day comes,
And he’s through with you.<\/em><\/div>\n
„Bav\u00edte sa?“<\/div>\n
Tich\u00fd \u0161epot. Tepl\u00fd dych na jeho krku. Zimomriavky na chrbte. Slabos\u0165 v kolen\u00e1ch. Siln\u00fd tras r\u00fak, prevrhnut\u00fd poh\u00e1r a vyliaty d\u017e\u00fas. A potom ticho.<\/div>\n
„Videl som v\u00e1s z okna.“<\/div>\n
Tom sa ne\u0161ikovne pok\u00fa\u0161al utrie\u0165 utierkou na riad pomaran\u010dov\u00fa tekutinu. Bol nahnevan\u00fd s\u00e1m na seba. Nahnevan\u00fd za to, ako ve\u013emi ho bratova bezprostredn\u00e1 bl\u00edzkos\u0165 dok\u00e1zala vyko\u013eaji\u0165. Ako ve\u013emi ho i jedin\u00e9 bratovo slovo dok\u00e1zalo… vzru\u0161i\u0165. Mimovo\u013ene o\u010dervenel. „Nem\u00e1\u0161 \u010do robi\u0165, \u017ee n\u00e1s sleduje\u0161?“<\/div>\n
„Vlastne ani nie,“ pretiahol Bill spokojne. Odst\u00fapil od Toma na nieko\u013eko krokov a oprel sa o t\u00fa \u010das\u0165 linky, ktor\u00e1 nebola olepen\u00e1 zbytkom sladkej tekutiny. Vyz\u00fdvavo sa zaklonil, a\u017e lem jeho tri\u010dka odkryl jeho alabastrov\u00fa poko\u017eku na bruchu. „Ako sa m\u00e1 Veronica?“<\/div>\n
„Nezauj\u00edma \u0165a to, tak pre\u010do sa p\u00fdta\u0161?“<\/div>\n
Tom sa znova pok\u00fasil nalia\u0165 d\u017e\u00fas do dvoch poh\u00e1rov. Kone\u010dne \u00faspe\u0161ne.<\/div>\n
„Pre\u010do by ma to nemalo zauj\u00edma\u0165?“<\/div>\n
„Preto\u017ee ju nen\u00e1vid\u00ed\u0161!“ Tom vyto\u010dene treskol dverami chladni\u010dky a zamra\u010dil sa na svojho brata. „Na \u010do sa tu zase hr\u00e1\u0161, Bill?!“<\/div>\n
Bill sa spokojne u\u0161krnul. Vyto\u010dil ho. Presne tak, ako chcel. Vyprovokoval, dok\u00e1zal s jeho em\u00f3ciami trochu pohn\u00fa\u0165. Kone\u010dne po dlhom \u010dase dal Tom najavo to, ako sa c\u00edtil. Vystresovan\u00fd, zni\u010den\u00fd minulou l\u00e1skou, zm\u00e4ten\u00fd. Naplnen\u00fd nov\u00fdmi z\u00e1\u017eitkami s Veronicou, ktor\u00e9 ale boli pr\u00edli\u0161 \u010derstv\u00e9 na to, aby dok\u00e1zali vymaza\u0165 tie, u\u017e vryt\u00e9 do du\u0161e. „Vie\u0161 \u010do je tvoj probl\u00e9m, bra\u010dek? St\u00e1le ma miluje\u0161. M\u00f4\u017ee\u0161 si vravie\u0165 \u010do len chce\u0161, m\u00f4\u017ee\u0161 pokojne na\u010falej Veronicu vyu\u017e\u00edva\u0165 a tv\u00e1ri\u0165 sa, \u017ee m\u00e1 u teba n\u00e1dej na istotu, ale ty ju aj tak po t\u00fd\u017edni pust\u00ed\u0161 k vode. Nebude \u0165a bavi\u0165 t\u00e1 hl\u00fapa nevinnos\u0165. A potom, potom pochop\u00ed\u0161, \u017ee si spolu so mnou nechal odpl\u00e1va\u0165 v\u0161etko \u0161\u0165astie, ktor\u00e9 \u0165a kedy v \u017eivote mohlo stretn\u00fa\u0165. Pochop\u00ed\u0161, \u017ee si spravil chybu, ke\u010f si ma opustil. Pochop\u00ed\u0161. Dok\u00e1\u017eem ti to…“<\/div>\n
And he’ll be through with you.
You’ll die together but alone.
You wrote me in a letter.
You couldn’t say it right to my face.
Give me that Sunday school answer.
Repent yourself away<\/em>.<\/div>\n
„V\u017edy som chcela, aby na\u0161e prv\u00e9 milovanie bolo dokonal\u00e9,“ za\u0161epkala Veronica spokojne a rozhliadla sa naokolo. E\u0161te naposledy predt\u00fdm, ako sa odd\u00e1 t\u00fa\u017ebe a v\u00e1\u0161ni. Svie\u010dky v\u0161ade nav\u00f4kol, v izbe pr\u00edtmie a prijemne studen\u00fd v\u00e1nok vych\u00e1dzaj\u00faci z pootvoren\u00e9ho okna. Tomova izba. Zmenen\u00e1 na nepoznanie. Pre nikoho in\u00e9ho by to nespravil. Len pre \u0148u. Jeho l\u00e1sku. Chcel, aby to v\u0161etko bolo perfektn\u00e9…<\/div>\n
S \u00fasmevom ju polo\u017eil do m\u00e4kk\u00fdch per\u00edn a ne\u017ene za\u010dal l\u00e1ska\u0165 jej pery. Nesk\u00f4r l\u00edca. Krk. Ramen\u00e1, pa\u017ee, dlane, bru\u0161ko. Bol tak\u00fd ne\u017en\u00fd ako sn\u00e1\u010f e\u0161te nikdy. Pre\u010do? Miloval ju. Skuto\u010dne? Obraz jej s\u00fastredenej tv\u00e1re sa mu rozpl\u00fdval pred o\u010dami. Menil sa. Na koho? Bill, jeho brat. Pre\u010do? Pre\u010do on a pre\u010do teraz? Nie! U\u017e nie. Pros\u00edm<\/em>.<\/div>\n
Bola to skuto\u010dne ona, kto zapojil do ich hr\u00e1tok v\u00e1\u0161e\u0148? Razanciu? R\u00fdchlos\u0165? Nikdy si nemyslela, \u017ee to dok\u00e1\u017ee. Bola neist\u00e1. Bola ustr\u00e1chan\u00e1. Bola nesmel\u00e1. Na Toma sn\u00e1\u010f pr\u00edli\u0161 nesk\u00fasen\u00e1. Tak pre\u010do?<\/div>\n
Nieko\u013eko chv\u00ed\u013e tich\u00fdch bozkov a mohlo sa prejs\u0165 na \u010fal\u0161iu \u00farove\u0148. Ne\u0161li na to prir\u00fdchlo? Po dvoch mesiacoch pr\u00edpravy? Tom sa sna\u017eil spomali\u0165. V\u00e1\u017ene \u00e1no! Ale nemohol. T\u00fa\u017eba ho ovl\u00e1dla a on tu\u0161il, \u017ee sa to nem\u00f4\u017ee skon\u010di\u0165 dobre. Pred o\u010dami akoby mal Billovu tv\u00e1r. Po\u010dka\u0165! To neboli len jeho predstavy! St\u00e1l tam. Alebo nie? V rohu izby a hladn\u00fdm poh\u013eadom Toma sledoval. Str\u00e1\u017eil. NIE!<\/div>\n
Zbl\u00e1znil sa sn\u00e1\u010f?<\/div>\n
Prudko sa vytrhol z Veronicinho objatia a vstal z postele. Hlavu dr\u017eal v dlaniach. Nie, nie, nie. Nie u\u017e zase! Bill nie. Halucin\u00e1cie? Preludy? Pre\u010do? Sta\u010d\u00ed! Stop! „Vypadni!“<\/div>\n
„\u010c-\u010do\u017ee?“ Veronica si \u0161okovane upravila spadnut\u00e9 ramienko na tielku.<\/div>\n
„VYPADNI!“ Bol z\u00fafal\u00fd. Zm\u00e4ten\u00fd. Pre\u010do? \u010co sa deje? Nie. NIE!<\/div>\n
Diev\u010da sa s tich\u00fdm vzlykom zdvihlo a ml\u010dky vybehlo z izby. \u010co spravila zle? Pre\u010do? Ako mohol? Milovala ho! Milovala. A myslela, \u017ee aj on ju. Alebo nie? Z\u00e1plava s\u013az postihla jej dokonal\u00fa tv\u00e1r. Bol koniec. Definit\u00edvny. Ni\u010d nech\u00e1pala. Pre\u010do? Ach, bo\u017ee.<\/div>\n
Tom zni\u010dene dopadol na poste\u013e. Nieko\u013eko \u010fal\u0161\u00edch poh\u013eadov do k\u00fata izby ho presved\u010dilo o tom, \u017ee za\u010d\u00edna bl\u00e1zni\u0165. Bill tam nebol. Prirodzene, \u017ee nie! Akoby mohol. To len on chcel, aby tam jeho brat st\u00e1l. Alebo nie? Ako to Bill povedal? „Pochop\u00ed\u0161, \u017ee si spravil chybu, ke\u010f si ma opustil. Pochop\u00ed\u0161. Dok\u00e1\u017eem ti to…“<\/em> \u00c1no. Pochopil. Neskoro? Alebo sn\u00e1\u010f pr\u00edli\u0161 skoro? Ktovie.<\/div>\n
Never again will I kiss you.
Never again will I want to.
Never again will I love you.<\/em><\/div>\n
(Never Again – Kelly Clarkson)<\/p>\n

<\/em> autor: Anaj<\/strong>
betaread: Helushka<\/strong><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I hope the ring you gave to herTurns her finger green.I hope when you’re in bed with her,You think of me. Tom sa vzru\u0161en\u00edm prehol v chrbte a silno sa striasol. Na \u010delo mu vyst\u00fapili kropaje potu. V dlani zvieral bielu sat\u00e9nov\u00fa<\/p>\n

Read More<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[45],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-19299","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-ff-jednodilky"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/twincestblog.cz\/domains\/twincestblog.cz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19299","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/twincestblog.cz\/domains\/twincestblog.cz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/twincestblog.cz\/domains\/twincestblog.cz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/twincestblog.cz\/domains\/twincestblog.cz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/twincestblog.cz\/domains\/twincestblog.cz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=19299"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/twincestblog.cz\/domains\/twincestblog.cz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19299\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/twincestblog.cz\/domains\/twincestblog.cz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=19299"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/twincestblog.cz\/domains\/twincestblog.cz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=19299"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/twincestblog.cz\/domains\/twincestblog.cz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=19299"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}