{"id":19642,"date":"2008-03-19T01:45:00","date_gmt":"2008-03-19T00:45:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/twincestblog.cz\/?p=19601"},"modified":"2008-03-19T01:45:00","modified_gmt":"2008-03-19T00:45:00","slug":"rozum-a-cit-ii-22","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/twincestblog.cz\/domains\/twincestblog.cz\/2008\/03\/19\/rozum-a-cit-ii-22\/","title":{"rendered":"Rozum a cit II 22."},"content":{"rendered":"<div>Bill se musel ob\u011bma pa\u017eemi op\u0159\u00edt o okraj umyvadla, aby jeho slab\u00e9 t\u011blo nesklouzlo k zemi. P\u0159ed o\u010dima m\u011bl \u010derno a v krku c\u00edtil obrovsk\u00e9 sucho, \u017ee t\u00e9m\u011b\u0159 nemohl polykat. Ob\u010das se jej zmoc\u0148ovaly podobn\u00e9 stavy n\u00e1hl\u00e9 bodav\u00e9 bolesti, kter\u00e1 jej na okam\u017eik \u00fapln\u011b ochromila a znemo\u017enila mu norm\u00e1ln\u00ed pohyb \u010di uva\u017eov\u00e1n\u00ed. M\u011bl \u010d\u00edm d\u00e1l v\u011bt\u0161\u00ed strach z toho, \u017ee jej n\u011bco takov\u00e9ho zastihne na ve\u0159ejnosti a ne pouze v soukrom\u00ed domova, jak tomu bylo doposud. Jist\u011b, mohl by se donekone\u010dna vymlouvat na stres a nepravidelnou stravu, ale byl si jist, \u017ee Toma by sv\u00fdmi v\u00fdmysly dlouho krmit nedovedl. Uv\u011bdomil si, \u017ee je v koupeln\u011b u\u017e p\u0159\u00edli\u0161 dlouhou dobu a bylo na\u010dase, aby p\u0159inutil sv\u00e9 ledov\u00e9 t\u011blo k n\u011bjak\u00e9 \u010dinnosti, kter\u00e1 by jej alespo\u0148 dovedla k posteli, kde u\u017e by se snad dok\u00e1zal zklidnit. Sotva s velkou n\u00e1mahou otev\u0159el dve\u0159e, okam\u017eit\u011b se st\u0159etl s bratrov\u00fdm up\u0159en\u00fdm pohledem.<\/div>\n<div>&#8222;Co je ti?&#8220; zeptal se jej r\u00e1zn\u011b.<\/div>\n<div>&#8222;Nic! Proboha, co by mi m\u011blo b\u00fdt? Co se na m\u011b po\u0159\u00e1d sna\u017e\u00ed\u0161 naj\u00edt? Nel\u00edb\u00edm se ti? Fajn! J\u00e1 u\u017e to n\u011bjak p\u0159e\u017eiju, tam venku jsou \u0159ady tis\u00edc\u016f lid\u00ed, na kter\u00e9 sta\u010d\u00ed k\u00fdvnout a nahrad\u00ed t\u011b.&#8220;<\/div>\n<div>&#8222;Jsi tak stra\u0161n\u011b bled\u00fd,&#8220; p\u0159ejel Tom ustaran\u011b prstem po jeho vpadl\u00fdch tv\u00e1\u0159\u00edch, jakoby v\u016fbec nevn\u00edmal jeho p\u0159ede\u0161l\u00e9 v\u011bty. &#8222;Nehled\u00e1m na tob\u011b chyby, Bille, nen\u00ed nic, co by m\u011b od tebe mohlo odradit, ale chci ti jen \u0159\u00edct, \u017ee za mnou m\u016f\u017ee\u0161 p\u0159ij\u00edt se v\u0161\u00edm. S\u00e1m jsi to \u0159\u00edkal, pamatuje\u0161? Tak to mezi dv\u011bma lidmi chod\u00ed, kdy\u017e m\u00e1 jeden z nich starosti, ten druh\u00fd je povinen mu pomoct. A\u0165 jde o cokoliv, Bille, a\u0165 u\u017e se s tebou d\u011bje cokoliv, j\u00e1 jsem tady, jsem tady pro tebe a \u010dek\u00e1m na tu p\u0159\u00edle\u017eitost, abych ti mohl kone\u010dn\u011b pomoct.&#8220;<\/div>\n<div>Bill odvr\u00e1til zrak. Mo\u017en\u00e1 by to bylo \u0159e\u0161en\u00ed, mo\u017en\u00e1 by jej skute\u010dn\u011b vyslechl a nic mu nevy\u010d\u00edtal, p\u0159ece jej miluje, nesna\u017eil by se jej pou\u010dovat, ale pomoci mu. On to s\u00e1m nezvl\u00e1dne, u\u017e je p\u0159\u00edli\u0161 hluboko, v\u00ed, \u017ee s\u00e1m se s t\u00edm nedovede poprat, proto\u017ee u\u017e nen\u00ed dost siln\u00fd. Bylo mu jasn\u00e9, \u017ee pot\u0159ebuje n\u011bkoho, kdo by mu podal z\u00e1chrann\u00e9 lano, kdo by jej vysvobodil a umo\u017enil mu zase voln\u011b d\u00fdchat. Aby se vr\u00e1tila jeho skute\u010dn\u00e1 identita, jeho vlastn\u00ed osobnost, aby bylo zp\u00e1tky v\u0161echno \u010d\u00edm \u017eil p\u0159ed tou osudnou noc\u00ed, kdy tolik nemohl sp\u00e1t, kdy mu srdce sv\u00edral strach a on nalezl prost\u0159edek, kter\u00fd to sev\u0159en\u00ed otupil a p\u0159ivodil mu vytou\u017een\u00e9 sny.<\/div>\n<div>Nen\u00e1vid\u011bl s\u00e1m sebe, nemohl se u\u017e ani vid\u011bt. Hnusilo se mu jeho vlastn\u00ed chov\u00e1n\u00ed, jeho slova, kter\u00e1 vlastn\u011b ani necht\u011bl \u0159\u00edct, ale sama se mu zjevovala na jazyku. Svoji krutost, kterou te\u010f disponoval, ztr\u00e1tu sv\u00e9 citlivosti, ztr\u00e1tu v\u0161ech emoc\u00ed. L\u00e9ky sice otupily bolest, ale otupily v n\u011bm tak\u00e9 ve\u0161ker\u00e9 emoce, potla\u010dily jeho samotn\u00e9ho. Nedok\u00e1zal se v zrcadle d\u00edvat na svou propadlou bledou tv\u00e1\u0159, na sv\u00e9 ruce, kter\u00e9 p\u0159edstavovaly jen kosti obalen\u00e9 v tenk\u00e9 vrstv\u011b k\u016f\u017ee, nesn\u00e1\u0161el sv\u00e1 vystoupl\u00e1 \u017eebra, ani absolutn\u011b ploch\u00e9 b\u0159icho.<\/div>\n<div>&#8222;A\u017e budu m\u00edt n\u011bjak\u00fd probl\u00e9m, p\u0159ijdu,&#8220; ozn\u00e1mil stroze bratrovi. Znovu se k tomu neodhodlal, zas a zase to v sob\u011b bude dusit, dokud nep\u0159ijde dal\u0161\u00ed z\u00e1chvat nesnesiteln\u00e9 bolesti, kter\u00fd jej donut\u00ed p\u0159em\u00fd\u0161let o p\u0159izn\u00e1n\u00ed a po jeho odezn\u011bn\u00ed se mu op\u011bt vr\u00e1t\u00ed jeho naivn\u00ed odvaha, kter\u00e1 jej v\u016fbec nikam nep\u0159ivede. D\u00edval se na Toma, na jeho ustaran\u00e9 o\u010di, pln\u00e9 p\u00e9\u010de a pochopen\u00ed, byl si jist, \u017ee on by jej podr\u017eel. Vid\u011bl, jak to bratra s\u017e\u00edr\u00e1, jak jej to bol\u00ed i za n\u011bj, trp\u00ed s n\u00edm, ani\u017e by v\u011bd\u011bl za co, ani\u017e by v\u011bd\u011bl pro\u010d. On je v tom nevinn\u011b, nezaslou\u017e\u00ed si tolik smutku jen proto, \u017ee on se neum\u00ed ovl\u00e1dat a nem\u00e1 dostate\u010dn\u011b silnou v\u016fli a nep\u0159ekon\u00e1 svoji hrdost, aby p\u0159iznal, \u017ee se s n\u011b\u010d\u00edm neum\u00ed vypo\u0159\u00e1dat s\u00e1m. Najednou, po neskute\u010dn\u011b dlouh\u00e9 dob\u011b, v sob\u011b poc\u00edtil n\u00e1hl\u00fd z\u00e1van citu.<\/div>\n<div>U\u017e tak stra\u0161n\u011b dlouho nic podobn\u00e9ho neza\u017eil, t\u00e9m\u011b\u0159 mu to vzalo dech. Vr\u00e1tily se mu n\u011bkter\u00e9 vzpom\u00ednky, objevily se mu p\u0159ed o\u010dima zn\u00e1m\u00e9 obrazy, v\u017eil se do toho, co c\u00edtil kdysi. Bylo to jako n\u00e1vrat do minulosti, jak ohl\u00e9dnut\u00ed zp\u011bt.<\/div>\n<div>Sly\u0161el slova, kter\u00e1 mu Tom \u0161ept\u00e1val za noc\u00ed, kdy le\u017eeli ve spole\u010dn\u00e9m ob\u011bt\u00ed a pevn\u011b sv\u00edrali jeden druh\u00e9mu, tolik si toho sl\u00edbili, ujistili se o tolika v\u011bcech. Pro\u010d jen to nedok\u00e1zal udr\u017eet, pro\u010d jen tu kr\u00e1su nedok\u00e1zal uchovat? On v\u011bd\u011bl, \u017ee z\u016fst\u00e1v\u00e1 v n\u011bm, \u017ee n\u011bkde hluboko v jeho srdci je\u0161t\u011b po\u0159\u00e1d d\u0159\u00edmaj\u00ed zbytky toho n\u00e1dhern\u00e9ho neposkvrn\u011bn\u00e9ho. Jen mu prost\u011b n\u011bco br\u00e1nilo to v\u0161echno dostat napovrch, dostat to ven. Bylo to jako hork\u00e1 vlna, kter\u00e1 jej zaplavila, trvalo to jen okam\u017eik, ale znamenalo to pro n\u011bj n\u011bco jako n\u00e1vrat dom\u016f. Alespo\u0148 na tu malou chv\u00edli si zase uv\u011bdomil, co pro n\u011bj bratr znamen\u00e1, jak t\u011b\u017ek\u00fd by byl \u017eivot bez jeho bl\u00edzkosti. A on ji ztr\u00e1cel, sv\u00e9voln\u011b ji ztr\u00e1cel, jakoby si v\u016fbec nep\u0159izn\u00e1val jej\u00ed hodnotu. P\u0159istoupil k Tomovi zezadu, spojil sv\u00e9 ruce kolem jeho pasu a polo\u017eil svou hlavu na jeho z\u00e1da.<\/div>\n<div>&#8222;Odpus\u0165,&#8220; za\u0161eptal do ticha\u2026<\/p>\n<p>autor: <strong>Heidi<\/strong><br \/>betaread: <strong>Janule<\/strong><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Bill se musel ob\u011bma pa\u017eemi op\u0159\u00edt o okraj umyvadla, aby jeho slab\u00e9 t\u011blo nesklouzlo k zemi. P\u0159ed o\u010dima m\u011bl \u010derno a v krku c\u00edtil obrovsk\u00e9 sucho, \u017ee t\u00e9m\u011b\u0159 nemohl polykat. Ob\u010das se jej zmoc\u0148ovaly podobn\u00e9 stavy n\u00e1hl\u00e9 bodav\u00e9 bolesti, kter\u00e1 jej na<\/p>\n<p class=\"link-more\"><a class=\"myButt \" href=\"https:\/\/twincestblog.cz\/domains\/twincestblog.cz\/2008\/03\/19\/rozum-a-cit-ii-22\/\">Read More<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[87],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-19642","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-rozum-a-cit-ii"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/twincestblog.cz\/domains\/twincestblog.cz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19642","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/twincestblog.cz\/domains\/twincestblog.cz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/twincestblog.cz\/domains\/twincestblog.cz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/twincestblog.cz\/domains\/twincestblog.cz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/twincestblog.cz\/domains\/twincestblog.cz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=19642"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/twincestblog.cz\/domains\/twincestblog.cz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19642\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/twincestblog.cz\/domains\/twincestblog.cz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=19642"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/twincestblog.cz\/domains\/twincestblog.cz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=19642"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/twincestblog.cz\/domains\/twincestblog.cz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=19642"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}