{"id":20197,"date":"2008-03-13T18:00:00","date_gmt":"2008-03-13T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/twincestblog.cz\/?p=20155"},"modified":"2008-03-13T18:00:00","modified_gmt":"2008-03-13T17:00:00","slug":"desperation-1","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/twincestblog.cz\/domains\/twincestblog.cz\/2008\/03\/13\/desperation-1\/","title":{"rendered":"Desperation 1."},"content":{"rendered":"<div><strong>autor: Lisa<\/strong><\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>&#8218;U\u017e zase&#8230; co se to posledn\u00ed dobou d\u011bje?&#8220; Bill si unaven\u011b prohr\u00e1bl vlasy rukou a zam\u017eoural do p\u0159\u00edtm\u00ed, kter\u00e9 v pokoji panovalo. M\u011bl pocit, \u017ee ka\u017edou chv\u00edli mu hlava p\u0159epln\u011bn\u00e1 my\u0161lenkami snad mus\u00ed explodovat. V posledn\u00ed dob\u011b se nedok\u00e1zal ani na chv\u00edli uvolnit, nato\u017e relaxovat. P\u0159ipadal si pomalu jako bl\u00e1zen, v\u017edy\u0165 to nen\u00ed norm\u00e1ln\u00ed, v jednou kuse myslet na sv\u00e9ho bratra. Ale \u010d\u00edm v\u00edc se sna\u017eil tyhle my\u0161lenky zahnat, t\u00edm \u010dast\u011bji se p\u0159istihl, \u017ee na Toma mysl\u00ed. Byl na\u0161tvan\u00fd s\u00e1m na sebe, \u017ee se toho nedok\u00e1\u017ee zbavit. Obvi\u0148oval se, \u017ee kdyby se o trochu v\u00edc sna\u017eil, tak snad&#8230;<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>&#8222;Sakra!&#8220; na\u0161tvan\u011b mr\u0161til pol\u0161t\u00e1\u0159em p\u0159es cel\u00fd pokoj, a ten jen s tich\u00fdm \u017euchnut\u00edm dopadl na zem ke dve\u0159\u00edm. Byl vy\u010derpan\u00fd a doopravdy tou\u017eil po dlouh\u00e9m neru\u0161en\u00e9m sp\u00e1nku, kter\u00fd ale u\u017e n\u011bkolik hodin nep\u0159ich\u00e1zel. M\u011bl toho v\u0161eho u\u017e po krk&#8230; neust\u00e1l\u00fd medi\u00e1ln\u00ed koloto\u010d, p\u0159i kter\u00e9m mu nebylo dop\u0159\u00e1no ani trochu odpo\u010dinku, a h\u00e1dky s bratrem, kter\u00e9 byly v posledn\u00edch dnech na denn\u00edm po\u0159\u00e1dku, ho vy\u010derp\u00e1valy snad je\u0161t\u011b v\u00edc ne\u017e v\u0161echny rozhovory a koncerty. Byl podr\u00e1\u017ed\u011bn\u00fd a protivn\u00fd, v\u011bd\u011bl to, ale nedok\u00e1zal s t\u00edm nic ud\u011blat. Uv\u011bdomoval si, \u017ee to, co ho tr\u00e1p\u00ed, se \u010dasem jen tak nezlep\u0161\u00ed, i kdy\u017e si to zeza\u010d\u00e1tku namlouval.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>Vlastn\u011b mu pom\u00e1hala jen jedin\u00e1 v\u011bc. Necht\u011bl na to ale ani myslet&#8230; moc dob\u0159e v\u011bd\u011bl, \u017ee je to \u0161patn\u00e9, a \u017ee by t\u00edm spoustu lid\u00ed zklamal. Ale te\u010f, kdy\u017e bezmocn\u011b sed\u011bl v rohu pokoje, kolena p\u0159itisknut\u00e1 k brad\u011b, a tak zoufale si p\u0159\u00e1l aspo\u0148 chv\u00edli klidu, ho jin\u00e9 \u0159e\u0161en\u00ed nenapadalo. Jako ve sn\u00e1ch se zvedl ze zem\u011b a zam\u00ed\u0159il do koupelny. D\u011blal to u\u017e zcela automaticky, jeho nohy ho samy nesly ke sk\u0159\u00ed\u0148ce nad umyvadlem, jeho ruce samy vyt\u00e1hly z krabi\u010dky mal\u00fd, ostr\u00fd n\u00e1stroj, kter\u00fd mu p\u0159in\u00e1\u0161el tolik \u00falevy. Nen\u00e1vid\u011bl se za to&#8230; hnusil se s\u00e1m sob\u011b, ale p\u0159esto si nedok\u00e1zal pomoci. T\u00e9m\u011b\u0159 bolestiv\u011b si uv\u011bdomoval, \u017ee Toma miluje&#8230; no ano&#8230; zamiloval se do vlastn\u00edho bratra&#8230; p\u0159ipadalo mu to tak absurdn\u00ed a p\u0159ece tak p\u0159irozen\u00e9&#8230; ale stejn\u011b intenzivn\u011b si uv\u011bdomoval, jak je to nemo\u017en\u00e9&#8230; jak je pro n\u011bj nedosa\u017eiteln\u00fd. Zevnit\u0159 ho to s\u017e\u00edralo, dusilo ho to, m\u011bl pocit, \u017ee nem\u016f\u017ee voln\u011b d\u00fdchat, jako by ho svazovaly provazy, a on tomu nemohl nijak uniknout.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>Divoce zat\u0159epal hlavou, aby vypudil v\u0161echny my\u0161lenky, kter\u00e9 mu v\u00ed\u0159ily hlavou. Sesunul se po studen\u00fdch kachli\u010dk\u00e1ch a\u017e na zem a op\u0159el se o n\u011b \u010delem. Skoro ani nevn\u00edmal slzu, kter\u00e1 si samovoln\u011b prorazila cestu po jeho bled\u00e9 l\u00edci. Pohledem sjel na \u017eiletku, kterou st\u00e1le sv\u00edral v ruce&#8230; Zoufal\u00fd v\u00fdraz vyst\u0159\u00eddal ironick\u00fd \u00fa\u0161klebek, kdy\u017e si pomyslel, jak by to vypadalo, kdyby se o tom n\u011bkdo dozv\u011bd\u011bl. On, slavn\u00fd Bill Kaulitz, po kter\u00e9m \u0161\u00edl\u00ed miliony holek, se mus\u00ed \u0159ezat do rukou, aby aspo\u0148 na okam\u017eik ulevil sv\u00e9 ne\u0161\u0165astn\u011b zamilovan\u00e9 du\u0161i. Pod\u00edval se na sv\u011btlou k\u016f\u017ei, na kter\u00e9 p\u0159\u00edmo z\u00e1\u0159ily rud\u00e9 \u0161r\u00e1my. Byl to u\u017e skoro t\u00fdden, co to ud\u011blal naposledy, ale stejn\u011b se je\u0161t\u011b r\u00e1ny nesta\u010dily dostate\u010dn\u011b zahojit&#8230; na to byly p\u0159\u00edli\u0161 hlubok\u00e9. Vlastn\u011b obdivoval s\u00e1m sebe s jakou lhostejnost\u00ed to d\u011bl\u00e1, v\u016fbec mu nedoch\u00e1zelo, \u017ee kdyby jednou prost\u011b \u0159\u00edznul v\u00edc, u\u017e by mu nic nepomohlo.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>Naprosto mu nevadilo, \u017ee mus\u00ed nosit na rukou n\u00e1vleky, aby si toho nikdo nev\u0161iml. Nech\u00e1pal se&#8230; v\u017edycky krev nesn\u00e1\u0161el, ale te\u010f mu to naopak p\u0159in\u00e1\u0161elo to spr\u00e1vn\u00e9 zadostiu\u010din\u011bn\u00ed, kdy\u017e mohl pozorovat pram\u00ednek jasn\u011b \u010derven\u00e9 tekutiny, kter\u00e1 mu st\u00e9kala po z\u00e1p\u011bst\u00ed a zanech\u00e1vala za sebou tmavou stopu. Vybral si m\u00edsto a bez dal\u0161\u00edho protahov\u00e1n\u00ed si p\u0159ilo\u017eil \u017eiletku ke k\u016f\u017ei a zatla\u010dil. Z r\u00e1ny okam\u017eit\u011b za\u010dala vyt\u00e9kat krev, jeho krev. Kone\u010dn\u011b se c\u00edtil aspo\u0148 o trochu l\u00e9pe&#8230; potrestal se&#8230; potrestal se za sv\u00e9 my\u0161lenky.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>Chv\u00edli je\u0161t\u011b sed\u011bl na zemi a om\u00e1men\u011b pozoroval novou r\u00e1nu. Nijak se nepozastavoval nad t\u00edm, \u017ee je hlub\u0161\u00ed ne\u017e ty p\u0159edt\u00edm. Prost\u011b se sm\u00ed\u0159il s t\u00edm, \u017ee mu to, co p\u0159edt\u00edm, u\u017e nesta\u010d\u00ed, pot\u0159ebuje v\u00edc&#8230; pot\u0159ebuje c\u00edtit v\u00edc bolesti. \u0158\u00edznul se je\u0161t\u011b jednou a nechal se op\u00e1jet t\u00edm uvol\u0148uj\u00edc\u00edm pocitem, \u017ee je zase p\u00e1nem situace, \u017ee z\u00e1le\u017e\u00ed jen na n\u011bm, jak to te\u010f bude.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>Za\u010d\u00ednal si uv\u011bdomovat nep\u0159\u00edjemnou zimu, kter\u00e1 vych\u00e1zela od studen\u00e9 podlahy. Rozl\u00e1man\u011b vstal a zam\u00ed\u0159il k umyvadlu. Opl\u00e1chl si ruce a \u017eiletku schoval zp\u011bt do sk\u0159\u00ed\u0148ky. Na ruku si je\u0161t\u011b pro jistotu navl\u00e9kl n\u00e1ramek, \u010d\u00edm\u017e zakryl sv\u00e9 poran\u011bn\u00ed, a ulehl do postele. Po n\u011bkolika minut\u00e1ch se kone\u010dn\u011b dostavil tolik o\u010dek\u00e1van\u00fd sp\u00e1nek.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div><strong>autor: Lisa<\/strong><br \/><strong>betaread: Michelle M., J. :o)<\/strong><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>autor: Lisa &#8218;U\u017e zase&#8230; co se to posledn\u00ed dobou d\u011bje?&#8220; Bill si unaven\u011b prohr\u00e1bl vlasy rukou a zam\u017eoural do p\u0159\u00edtm\u00ed, kter\u00e9 v pokoji panovalo. M\u011bl pocit, \u017ee ka\u017edou chv\u00edli mu hlava p\u0159epln\u011bn\u00e1 my\u0161lenkami snad mus\u00ed explodovat. V posledn\u00ed dob\u011b se nedok\u00e1zal ani<\/p>\n<p class=\"link-more\"><a class=\"myButt \" href=\"https:\/\/twincestblog.cz\/domains\/twincestblog.cz\/2008\/03\/13\/desperation-1\/\">Read More<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[75],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-20197","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-desperation"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/twincestblog.cz\/domains\/twincestblog.cz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20197","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/twincestblog.cz\/domains\/twincestblog.cz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/twincestblog.cz\/domains\/twincestblog.cz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/twincestblog.cz\/domains\/twincestblog.cz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/twincestblog.cz\/domains\/twincestblog.cz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=20197"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/twincestblog.cz\/domains\/twincestblog.cz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20197\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/twincestblog.cz\/domains\/twincestblog.cz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=20197"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/twincestblog.cz\/domains\/twincestblog.cz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=20197"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/twincestblog.cz\/domains\/twincestblog.cz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=20197"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}