{"id":7795,"date":"2011-09-20T18:00:00","date_gmt":"2011-09-20T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/twincestblog.cz\/?p=7774"},"modified":"2011-09-20T18:00:00","modified_gmt":"2011-09-20T17:00:00","slug":"utect","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/twincestblog.cz\/domains\/twincestblog.cz\/2011\/09\/20\/utect\/","title":{"rendered":"Ut\u00e9ct"},"content":{"rendered":"
autor: Mary<\/p>\n

<\/strong> Something has been taken
From deep inside of me
A secret I’ve kept locked away<\/p>\n

<\/em> Nevydr\u017e\u00edm to. Ty masy lid\u00ed, kter\u00e9 si na n\u00e1s ukazuj\u00ed. Pok\u0159ikuj\u00ed na n\u00e1s. Znechucen\u011b se na n\u00e1s d\u00edvaj\u00ed. Obkli\u010duj\u00ed n\u00e1s ze v\u0161ech stran a nedop\u0159ej\u00ed n\u00e1m ani vte\u0159inu oddechu. Necht\u011bj\u00ed n\u00e1s ani vid\u011bt, a p\u0159esto n\u00e1s pron\u00e1sleduj\u00ed na ka\u017ed\u00e9m kroku. Po\u0159\u00e1d dor\u00e1\u017e\u00ed, jsou jak psi, nep\u0159estanou, dokud n\u00e1s \u00fapln\u011b nezni\u010d\u00ed.<\/p>\n

A pro\u010d to v\u0161echno? Kv\u016fli l\u00e1sce. Kv\u016fli t\u00e9 nekone\u010dn\u011b siln\u00e9, a hlavn\u011b zak\u00e1zan\u00e9 l\u00e1sce, kterou k tob\u011b c\u00edt\u00edm. Copak je l\u00e1ska \u0161patn\u00e1?<\/div>\n

Ni\u010d\u00ed m\u011b to. Trh\u00e1 na kusy. Jak jsem si kdy mohl myslet, \u017ee to nikdy nevyjde najevo, \u017ee to nikdy nikdo nezjist\u00ed? Jak jsem jen mohl b\u00fdt tak naivn\u00ed?<\/p>\n

Te\u010f za to plat\u00edme, oba dva. Plat\u00edme za to, \u017ee jsme nedok\u00e1zali odolat. Na televizn\u00edch obrazovk\u00e1ch se \u0159e\u0161\u00ed n\u00e1\u0161 vztah. P\u0159ed na\u0161\u00edm domem post\u00e1vaj\u00ed lid\u00e9 a skanduj\u00ed hesla jako „smrt h\u0159\u00ed\u0161n\u00edk\u016fm“. Vlastn\u00ed matka se n\u00e1s z\u0159ekla.<\/div>\n

\n
\n

Kdysi jsme m\u011bli p\u00edsni\u010dku. O tom, \u017ee na\u0161e sny jsou zni\u010deny, proto\u017ee jsme se smrteln\u011b zamilovali. Tehdy to byla na\u0161e nejhor\u0161\u00ed no\u010dn\u00ed m\u016fra. Dnes je to realita.<\/p><\/div>\n

Se sklopen\u00fdmi hlavami proch\u00e1z\u00edme nekone\u010dn\u00fdmi davy lid\u00ed. Ze v\u0161ech stran se na n\u00e1s sn\u00e1\u0161ej\u00ed nad\u00e1vky.<\/div>\n
„\u2026nechutn\u00e9\u2026“<\/div>\n
„Jak odporn\u00ed\u2026“<\/div>\n
„Zr\u016fdy!“<\/div>\n
Nen\u00e1vid\u00ed n\u00e1s. V\u0161ichni n\u00e1s nen\u00e1vid\u00ed.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
If I could
Stand up and take the blame I would
If I could take all the shame to the grave<\/em><\/div>\n
I would<\/p>\n

<\/em> Nedok\u00e1\u017eu to. Nevydr\u017e\u00edm to, nejsem tak siln\u00fd jako ty. V\u017edycky jsi byl siln\u011bj\u0161\u00ed osobnost. I te\u010f. Nep\u0159ipou\u0161t\u00ed\u0161 si nic z toho, co se d\u011bje. Tvrd\u00ed\u0161, \u017ee je to jen do\u010dasn\u00e9, \u017ee to \u010dasem p\u0159ejde a v\u0161echno bude zase jako d\u0159\u00edv. Nebude. V\u00edme to oba, jen ty um\u00ed\u0161 odol\u00e1val zoufalstv\u00ed a beznad\u011bji. J\u00e1 ne.<\/div>\n

Jsem z n\u00e1s ten slab\u0161\u00ed, ale p\u0159ed tebou se za to nestyd\u00edm. V\u00ed\u0161 o mn\u011b v\u0161echno. Jenom ty m\u011b doopravdy zn\u00e1\u0161.<\/div>\n
Z\u016fstali jsme jen my dva, sami na cel\u00e9m sv\u011bt\u011b. Dva, a p\u0159esto jsme ka\u017ed\u00fd s\u00e1m. Nebo se o to ti venku alespo\u0148 sna\u017e\u00ed. Ale zat\u00edmco ty hrdinn\u011b odol\u00e1v\u00e1\u0161, v m\u00e9m p\u0159\u00edpad\u011b se jim to da\u0159\u00ed. Odtrh\u00e1vaj\u00ed m\u011b od tebe, st\u00e1le d\u00e1l a d\u00e1l od tv\u00e9 h\u0159ejiv\u00e9 n\u00e1ru\u010de, p\u0159esto\u017ee se tomu sna\u017e\u00edm ze v\u0161ech sv\u00fdm zb\u00fdvaj\u00edc\u00edch sil br\u00e1nit. Nejde to.<\/div>\n
C\u00edt\u00edm se s\u00e1m, p\u0159esto\u017ee v\u00edm, \u017ee nejsem. Je\u0161t\u011b po\u0159\u00e1d m\u00e1m p\u0159ece tebe. Ale n\u011bkdy\u2026 kdy\u017e m\u011b v\u0161ichni odsuzuj\u00ed\u2026 kdy\u017e m\u011b nikdo nech\u00e1pe\u2026 kdy\u017e jsou v\u0161ichni proti mn\u011b\u2026 Je to m\u00e1lo.<\/p>\n

It’s easier to run
Replacing this pain with something numb
It’s so much easier to go<\/p>\n

<\/em> St\u00e1le t\u011b miluju. A v\u017edycky budu. Je to p\u0159\u00edli\u0161 siln\u00e9, ne\u017e aby to jenom tak p\u0159e\u0161lo nebo zmizelo. Je to moc hluboko ve mn\u011b, moc hluboko v n\u00e1s, ne\u017e aby to mohl n\u011bkdo vyrvat. M\u016f\u017eou n\u00e1s odd\u011blit jednoho od druh\u00e9ho, m\u016f\u017eou n\u00e1s roztrhnout. Ale na\u0161i l\u00e1sku nezni\u010d\u00ed, pokud my sami nebudeme cht\u00edt.<\/div>\n

Nev\u011b\u0159\u00edm, \u017ee je to \u0161patn\u00e9, ale\u2026 nem\u016f\u017eu, promi\u0148\u2026 nem\u016f\u017eu u\u017e tady d\u00fdl z\u016fstat.<\/div>\n
Nem\u016f\u017eu u\u017e b\u00fdt v tomhle sv\u011bt\u011b. Ka\u017ed\u00fd tady m\u00e1 masku, aby se nijak neodli\u0161oval, proto\u017ee ten, kdo je jin\u00fd, se stane ko\u0159ist\u00ed. Ob\u011bt\u00ed. P\u0159e\u017eije jen nejsiln\u011bj\u0161\u00ed\u2026<\/p>\n

D\u0159\u00edv n\u00e1s milovali. Jezdili za n\u00e1mi i stovky kilometr\u016f, jen proto, aby n\u00e1s mohli vid\u011bt. \u0158\u00edkali, \u017ee n\u00e1m p\u0159ej\u00ed l\u00e1sku. A te\u010f? V\u0161ichni do jednoho se od n\u00e1s odvr\u00e1tili, oto\u010dili se k n\u00e1m z\u00e1dy. Copak to v\u0161echno p\u0159edt\u00edm byla jenom p\u0159etv\u00e1\u0159ka? To v\u0161echno p\u0159edt\u00edm bylo jenom p\u0159edst\u00edran\u00e9? V\u00e1\u017en\u011b se nenajde v\u016fbec nikdo, kdo by n\u00e1s pochopil? Jsme snad opravdu tak \u0161patn\u00ed, jenom proto, \u017ee milujeme?<\/p>\n

Zr\u016fdy\u2026<\/p>\n

<\/em> Ne, u\u017e nem\u016f\u017eu d\u00e1l. Neunesu u\u017e v\u0161echny ty pohledy. Mus\u00edm to n\u011bjak skon\u010dit, mus\u00edm pry\u010d!<\/p>\n

Zr\u016fdy.<\/p>\n

<\/em> „Pamatuj si, \u017ee t\u011b budu v\u017edycky milovat, ano?“<\/div>\n

„Ano, ale\u2026 Co chce\u0161 d\u011blat, Tome?“ Pl\u00e1\u010de\u0161. J\u00e1 taky.<\/p>\n

Zr\u016fdy!<\/p>\n

<\/em> „Mrz\u00ed m\u011b to\u2026 promi\u0148.“<\/div>\n

„Ne, Tome!“<\/div>\n
Odch\u00e1z\u00edm se sklopenou hlavou, na tvoje vol\u00e1n\u00ed nijak nereaguju. Prohr\u00e1l jsem.<\/div>\n
Mus\u00edm j\u00edt.<\/p>\n

Sometimes I remember
The darkness of my past
Bringing back these memories
I wish I didn’t have<\/p>\n

<\/em> S\u00e1m je\u0161t\u011b nev\u00edm, co vlastn\u011b ud\u011bl\u00e1m. Jestli n\u011bkam odejdu, n\u011bkam, kde n\u00e1s nikdo nezn\u00e1, nebo to skon\u010d\u00edm definitivn\u011b. Nev\u00edm.<\/div>\n

Styd\u00edm se za sebe. Nedok\u00e1\u017ee\u0161 si ani p\u0159edstavit, jak moc se styd\u00edm za to, \u017ee jsem tak zbab\u011ble utekl a nechal t\u011b v tom samotn\u00e9ho. Jsem slab\u00fd a moc dob\u0159e to o sob\u011b v\u00edm. Opustil jsem t\u011b, abych zachr\u00e1nil s\u00e1m sebe. Nic nem\u016f\u017ee moje chov\u00e1n\u00ed omluvit, nikdy.<\/div>\n
Odpust\u00ed\u0161 mi to n\u011bkdy? V\u00edm, \u017ee pokud m\u011b n\u011bkdo dok\u00e1\u017ee pochopit, bude\u0161 to ty. Pochop\u00ed\u0161 m\u011b znovu? Dok\u00e1\u017ee\u0161 p\u0159ijmout dal\u0161\u00ed a snad nejhor\u0161\u00ed ze v\u0161ech m\u00fdch chyb? Bude\u0161 op\u011bt trp\u011bliv\u011b \u010dekat, a\u017e se vr\u00e1t\u00edm?<\/p>\n

Ne, tentokr\u00e1t ne. Mo\u017en\u00e1 mi odpust\u00ed\u0161, ale \u010dekat nebude\u0161. Nem\u011blo by to cenu. Oba to v\u00edme. Utekl jsem jednou a u\u017e nikdy to nebude jin\u00e9. Nav\u017edy u\u017e budu jenom ut\u00edkat. P\u0159ed na\u0161\u00ed l\u00e1skou a bolest\u00ed, i kdy\u017e jsi t\u00edm zp\u016fsob\u00edm utrpen\u00ed je\u0161t\u011b hor\u0161\u00ed. Ale nem\u016f\u017eu jinak. Nedok\u00e1\u017eu se tomu postavit.<\/div>\n

Ty ano. Jsi siln\u00fd, jsem si jist\u00fd, \u017ee to vydr\u017e\u00ed\u0161 a jednou bude\u0161 znovu \u0161\u0165astn\u00fd, t\u0159eba\u017ee s n\u011bk\u00fdm jin\u00fdm.<\/div>\n
Ty to zvl\u00e1dne\u0161. P\u0159esto\u017ee j\u00e1 to nedok\u00e1zal\u2026<\/p>\n

It’s easier to run
Replacing this pain with something numb
It’s so much easier to go<\/p>\n

(Linkin Park – Easier to run)<\/p>\n

<\/em> autor: Mary<\/strong><\/div>\n

betaread: Janule<\/strong><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

autor: Mary Something has been takenFrom deep inside of meA secret I’ve kept locked away Nevydr\u017e\u00edm to. Ty masy lid\u00ed, kter\u00e9 si na n\u00e1s ukazuj\u00ed. Pok\u0159ikuj\u00ed na n\u00e1s. Znechucen\u011b se na n\u00e1s d\u00edvaj\u00ed. Obkli\u010duj\u00ed n\u00e1s ze v\u0161ech stran a nedop\u0159ej\u00ed n\u00e1m ani<\/p>\n

Read More<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[45],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7795","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-ff-jednodilky"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/twincestblog.cz\/domains\/twincestblog.cz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7795","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/twincestblog.cz\/domains\/twincestblog.cz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/twincestblog.cz\/domains\/twincestblog.cz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/twincestblog.cz\/domains\/twincestblog.cz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/twincestblog.cz\/domains\/twincestblog.cz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7795"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/twincestblog.cz\/domains\/twincestblog.cz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7795\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/twincestblog.cz\/domains\/twincestblog.cz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7795"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/twincestblog.cz\/domains\/twincestblog.cz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7795"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/twincestblog.cz\/domains\/twincestblog.cz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7795"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}